hello world !! this is my second project on this account I recently just started high school, yayy!! That and marching band practice is why I haven't posted anything recently. Hope you missed me ;) I really wanted to talk about ethnic parents and how they raise their children, especially when they reside in the US or UK (western countries). Don't know what ethnic means? Acc. to Google, ethnic means relating to a group of people who share a common culture, tradition, language, religion, or ancestral origin. So for example, a Bengali person is an ethnic person. What does that have to do with my argument? I've noticed that ethnic parents seem to have impossible standards for their children and often place them in a glided cage? Read more. OLDEST DAUGHTER One thing I've noticed is how ethnic parents treat their eldest daughters. I couldn't wish the treatment treatment onto my worst enemy (well..). The expectations and difference of treatment the eldest daughters face is terrible. From personal experience, I was seen as the third parent, even from a young age. Your parents will expect so much out of you, and if you don't meet their expectations, you're not trying enough. I'm not sure if this applies for white parents, but ALL of my ethnic friends who are the eldest daughter go through hell (me included). In a lot of these cultures, the daughter is expected to cook, clean, and care for the home. You never really get a chance to be a kid. You're expected to grow up so much faster. And the worst thing of all is the way your parents treat you versus how they treat your siblings. If you and (let's say) your younger brother were to get in trouble and you guys did the same thing, you would get it much worse than your sibling. It's as if you're the test run for how they parent. (ok im just venting a bit LOL) WHAT IS THIS SAYING? If you have immigrant parents and you guys moved to country where they speak another language, you'll probably hear this a lot. It's not like its necessarily a bad thing, well it is when it's overdone. I'd understand if you're just asking me to help you translate something a book, not a whole medical sheet :| . When I was younger, I used to write resumes a LOT. Not for myself, for my parents and my aunt. They know English, sure, but not all well. My English is pretty shabby too, if you ask me. I still struggle with pronunciation and grammar LOL. I would spend hours on end having to type of resumes for them just because they couldn't understand. Do you know how exhausting that is to do as a kid? Yeah, it's good to help out your relatives, but things like this cause you to grow up faster. Which brings me to my next topic. GROWING UP FASTER THAN OTHERS This is something I've noticed in ethnic children/children of immigrants. They tend to grow up so much faster than other kids, and take more responsibilities. Whether it comes to acting like the parent of the house or taking on adult responsibilities. Children should not have to look after their younger ones at such a young age. This is usually due to their parents having to work harder to make a living. The struggle is understandable, but you place too many responsibilities onto your child. NEGLECTION OF NEURODIVERGENCE/ MENTAL HEALTH I've noticed this with my own parents. They would rather die than admit that their child is wired different neurologically or has bad mental health. This is the biggest flaw with parents of colour. They are set to think that depression or other mental illness is something only 'white people' face. This is absolutely not true. And the worst thing of all, when your child is neurodivergent, they think its something that can be fixed with praying. If the signs of neurodivergence are as clear as glass, they will stand on the hill that nothing is 'wrong' with their child. I firmly believe I, myself, am neurodivergent. The signs are a bit clear, haha. But when I exhibit this neurodivergent behaviours, I am simply just acting up or behaving somehow. My mental health is also not the best. I show signs to my parents that I am suffering, but they choose to be insensitive and will dismiss it as laziness or uninterest. Parents, please stop doing this. And you wonder why your children refuse to open up.
MASKING ABUSE AS DISCIPLINE This section might be lengthy, because I have a lot to say about this, from experience. Please stop wearing your kids down, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and calling it discipline. You are simply destroying the very thing you created. My parents used to beat me for every minor inconvenience, and this just caused me to be an even worse kid. I remember how outgoing and extroverted I used to be. Now, I am just a hollow shell of who I used to be. They degraded me and wore me down. And they ask me what happened to the old me, without even realizing they are the issue. It's fine to beat your child, sure, but to an extent. Your child should not have bruises on his or her own body after you discipline them. Emotional abuse is also not talked about enough. There is no need for you to insult, ridicule and destroy your children emotionally. Verbal abuse is real, and it affects a child's mind greatly. It is okay to talk to your children and scold them, but there is absolutely no reason why you should make them question their worth or value. Your actions will have consequences. Once they start to display the behaviours they learned from you, it's suddenly "You need to control your anger" or "Manage your emotions". You are the sole problem. I put a lot of heart into this :). It took me a while to actually finish this. I'm so unmotivated to do anything nowadays. It will get better. Song : Jesus to a Child - George Michael
