Entry 1 .................................................................................. Dad asked if I was ok today. I think it's starting to show... Of course I told him I was fine. I can't add to him and mom's worries. Mom notices that I don't eat. She tells me to eat. I tell her that I eat, she just doesn't see me. But I don't. Whenever I get the chance, I don't eat. Because I'm not how I want to be. I'm not skinny. I'm not pretty. I'm not naturally talented. I stay up late to study. Just so I can make mom and dad proud. They say they are proud of me, but I don't always believe that. I want to, I just can't. I went for a walk when it got dark. To the lake. I sat for quite sometime. Just me and my horrid thoughts. I thought it would calm my nerves, but frankly it did the opposite. I'm so tired. I always am. I feel so empty and drained. My heart feels heavy. I can't help it. I can't even cry anymore. I feel so numb and emotionless. I'm just tired of everything, really.
