Posting this after an actual anxiety attack, so, sorry if this doesn't make sense. Here goes nothing. LAST CHANCE TO READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS! I don't know if I am getting better. I know I've been better physically, less self inflicted scars and bruises and cuts, but despite the fact I am no longer in therapy, i still feel horrible. I would like to think I'm fine and cured of my issues but I genuinely can't say that's true, because I go over the edge way too easily (see: me having a su/c/d41 episode when mia almost quit scratch) and I get really attached to people I've just met. I'm sure it's partially at fault of the bunch of mental issues I have, namely PTSD, but I feel like I've actually been getting way worse. There's been a lot of moments recently where I start spiraling over the smallest most ineffective things, and every time I get hurt even slightly I start crying my eyes out. I feel like all of this is to say I'm overstressed (?) and overworked with everything going on right now. I don't know why I'm posting this at all, I just need an outlet to vent i think. I was 4 weeks clean on the self inflicted harm front. Not anymore I guess.
Trigger warnings: mention of su/c/d3, self inflicted harm, and generally other touchy subjects like that. Posting this from the bathroom because I just sobbed my eyes out for 10 minutes straight and don't want my family to see me like this.
