So tired. My head wars with itself. I feel I've already typed this exact thing so many times. Letting out these unnecessary words. I have been such a weight. A burden. Sorry for everything. Sorry. That word that I seem to repeat infinitely. Honestly. I should just be gone. Let go. Stop this. No one would care. I would just be gone. Finally gone. My weight would be nonexistent in this world. And I would finally be free. I take too much and give too little. Im brittle. Shattered. Gone. Trying to live a dream that was never within reach. This dream. Of stability. Of what could’ve been if I wasn’t myself. Because myself isn’t worth any effort. Any words. Any emotion. Another struggle. Another breath. My mind withering. Im already gone. Why not finish the job? Through trials, I was forged. This prisoner of this fate. The one who tries to bear all the weight. What even is this fate? Suffering. This eternal ‘destiny’ of trying to save the ones while not being able to save himself no matter how hard he tries. This eternal irony of failure. This weight of the world pressed onto myself by my own ‘duty’ to help. I think it’s my responsibility. And that it is. To do that. To prove what? Im just stupid. I try all to help. And do what? Im just a burden. A weight. Nothing in this world. I’d be better gone. Maybe by the time you’re reading this, I’m gone. Sorry to you. To anyone reading this. Signing off again, hopefully forever. -Tris
