I’m leaving again [Vent + Hiatus]

Instructions

I have a lot that I have to get off of my chest. I have been having a rough time with IRL friends. I know that small spats are common between people, but this is not it. There is a possibility that I have autism, and the quizzes and questions I’ve filled out think so too. Well a couple weeks ago, one of my friends said something pretty offensive about autistic people, and I haven’t gotten it out of my head. I am not happy with these people. I used to think I was but I’m not and I hope to not interact with them again. They are bad people. I personally find friendships to be a waste of time and effort, always having to keep it intact and not having it fall to pieces. That’s not what I think friendship is. An actual friend is someone that I trust with sensitive topics and understands personal space. I have been “friends” with lots of people but I’ve never felt that with them. I’m always the friend who never shows up to events, the friend that is smart and logical. I’m not just that, but they’re too blind to see that. People are so selfish sometimes, thinking that just because we’re friends, they get special treatment. It makes me sick. I told one of my family members that I am asexual, but they basically brushed it off and said it was a phase. Why are people so revolting, they make my blood boil. Another thing that’s happening is that I’m moving to Poland. I’ve never been there and I’m not interested in leaving my house. I hate big changes and I’m not really a risk taker, so I’m not exactly hyped about going. I also hate planes. We’re going to have to give our cat some sort of sedative so she doesn’t freak out, but that just makes me more stressed. I’m also just not happy on Scratch. I feel like the reason why I’m always making MAPs is so that I can distract myself. It’s unhealthy. I have to leave for my own sanity. DON’T EVEN DARE SAY “COME BACK”, how would you feel if you were being stressed AND getting hassled by people you don’t even know online? Trashy, right? So don’t. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I hope to enjoy my break and feel at ease again. I don’t want another panic attack, that last one was enough for me. Don’t ask invasive questions, I will not respond. Just let me have my break

Notes & Credits