Entry 3 .................................................................................. I want to ask for help, I really do... But I don't want to be seen as attention seeking or annoying.. I'm the one who caused it so I need to fix it. I'm the one who ruins all my relationships. I swear on my life, I always try, but in my eyes, I'm just not good enough.. Today was 4th of July. We go invited to a dinner party with fireworks. There was so many people.. I ate too much.... Ugh... Why did I eat that much?? I feel so nasty and gross. I AM nasty and gross.. I have to go to the lake tomorrow with dad and his friend and my brother. I REALLY don't want to be in a swimsuit...If anyone saw who I really am, what I really do, and what goes on in my head, who would ever love me? And whenever I vent, it's always "Oh, yea, I can relate" "Oh, yea, me too" "Same" "Just be happy" It makes me feel like I'm complaining for no reason. . Tf I sound like an attention seeker rn haha. It's raining rn. And I can hear the thunder. I love the rain. .................................................................................
