I had a panic attack… It’s really what they say. A sudden surge of emotions and anxiety all at once. I cried. I thought of horrible things to the point where I said out loud to myself “no” in a shaky and unstable voice. In the midst of this pain, I started to try to think of something to do to stop or ease it. In that moment, all I wanted was to be with someone. Yet, it was midnight, and no one was awake. I finally got myself out of bed and decided to go to my guinea pigs’ cage. They were the closest and only living things that were awake at that moment. Even though they are quite skittish, and they were hiding in their hideouts, just their mere presence helped. I took a moment to breathe. It took a bit, but then I went to get a tangerine to share with them. I’d peel them each a slice and I’d eat my own. Then, I felt calm. At least, calmer than before. …I’ve been very stressed lately, and confused on my emotions and thoughts, and I’ve realized that I have depressive thoughts. I don’t know why it took me so long to figure that out, since I’d been fighting myself for maybe a month now. But I’m still feeling incomplete and worried, so I’ll try my best to distance myself from the internet. To be honest, scratch helps me cope. It’s a fairly welcoming place, and it’s helped me a lot. I’m posting this in the morning after my panic attack, and I feel much better after telling my parents and family. I’m going to do my best to be better, so wish me luck. Dw, it’s not really a hiatus, just me trying to distance myself from the internet. Ty to all my friends here on scratch for the support and I’ll see yall soon. Thank you.
