you hadn't been cherished enough yet, you hadn't been mine enough yet, and i was too foolish to do it when i could. " to hear you scream my name your smile still kills the same. " bright orange, yellow speckled hydrangeas in xeir pelt, nuzzled in from xeir love that they deeply cherished, but why? memoryspectre, their love, their everything, the only feline who made them feel warm other than their own kits of course, those guys were lovely joys. but, the first thing in treat's life to make them actually stop and listen to their heart thrum. had nuzzled a flower in xeir pelt without a word. and treat had no clue what was going to spiral. didn't they? didn't they. " you asked me how i've been, but how do i begin? " treattrickery spent some of the night staring at the sky, watching the stars dazzle the moonkissed surroundings. confusion the tell on xeir face. maybe they should go look. or wait, wait for their heart to come back. " to tell you, i should've chased you, i should be the one you're engaged to, " waiting was a horrible decision, now who would do that? treat was never patient, so why did xe decide to wait for once? " lost my fight with fate, a tug of war of leave & stay, " just staring at a limp body was weird. one just alive. one just warm. one that just had been cuddled up with xeir. treattrickery swallowed, bright orange and yellow eyes narrowing slightly. xeir flames flickered in confusion, but how, how could memoryspectre.. xe averted their gaze. how could memoryspectre die? he didn't seem -- maybe treat wasn't being observant anymore. he was rushing. but what else? how else did treattrickery fail dawn? xe sniffled. they had to be strong, right? for the kits. xe promised something that day. " i'll see you at heaven's gate, cause it's too little, way too late. " too little, too late. to savor, to cherish, to love, to hold, everything treat should've done more was a weighing decision. to notice, to embrace, to understand, to care, everything treat should've attempted to do more of instead of being the dismissive, melodramatic, always doubting, always holding back, always waiting and yearning, feline they were. " love you forever, don't let go of me, i'll die if i wither in your memory, "
" i miss that kind of misery the kind where you were nice to me, " memoryspectre, i wonder this at the latest moment of night. where the moon's the highest, gleaming its pretty light over me. only half of it shining, like your own self to others, except, you were shining so beautifully, everything i could've wanted in a paw's grasp, everything i cherished faded, like a dying, burnt out star you were a star. you were a heart, my heart - my everything, please. you were a wonder, a darling, and i only wish. that, maybe in another universe, we would've died together, and i wouldn't have to live with the guilt, we'd run across the lands of the skies, joy all across your face and mine, and we'd be happy. forever. so i'll leave you with this promise, i, treattrickery, solely promise to myself, to care for everyone else, and cherish them, so it doesn't end up like this harsh crushing of guilt. because my heart hurts. it feels like it's being crushed. into a million, shattered, pieces. like those shards of obsidian on that pretty day. mem, i love you. " but only in the evening, so i ask, am i just dreaming? "
