Gamal Abdel Nasser gives a long awaited speech about the upcoming election and certain things... Transcript: I stand before you here today to address the important upcoming elections for the Universal Planets of the Galaxy, and many other issues regarding that. We will allow questions later in the speech, so let us begin. (short pause) Alhamdulilah, it has been an honor to unite the civilizations of man and whatever is in between under the tenets of progression, freedom, civil rights, and dignity in the form of our governance. In the past few years, we have increasingly become self-sufficient, ceased many great calamities like the Zygian-Protactian Conflict, and we have united more important nations and increased social welfare for the people. According to the Quadrant Five-n happiness index, our region has seen increased happiness in comparison to the many regions that surround us, most of whom are oppressed under the shackles of corruption and colonization. As this election comes up, it is time to realize the revolution that we have the chance to make. Two hundred and sixty five years ago, we managed to unite the world under one banner! A banner of freedom and promise! The revolution continues, continues because there are factions who seek to forcibly undermine our freedom! Our unity! There are many disparaged and needy peoples in this galaxy, and what is our revolution if not a fire that burns corruption, and what is it if not a rain that soothes and grows the tilth evenly and equally!
(cont.) It has taken us two hundred sixty five years to get here, and I swear to you, my beloved people, I will fight another two hundred sixty five years to unite every single soul out there in the cosmos! This is our ultimate goal! The greatest revolution! (short pause) This election is the culmination of what we are fighting for. What we are learning for. What we strive for, for the infinite sympathy and empathy of all civilizations that are out there! There are those who wish to strip us of our dignity, to enshrine only themselves and their conspirators in the halls of prosperity and leave out the masses. Shame on the Zeta Reticulon Co-Prosperity Sphere! Shame on the Universal Alien Group! Shame on the Lumisource Lamp Party! It is time to reclaim freedom for ourselves, and for all! This is our revolution; the revolution of the people! Hail to the people of all the worlds! Long live freedom, prosperity, equality, and unity! (long pause) Continuing on the topic of this election, I will address some questions raised by the crowd I have written here. (short pause) “Dear Mr. Gamal, what are your thoughts on the Zeta Reticulan Co-Prosperity Sphere?” This is a very important question. Currently, they are the oppressive hegemon in this galaxy. I admire their hard work and scientific progress, but they withhold it to themselves and they cause division with their progress. Imagine one day out of nowhere, a flying disk comes into the horizon and takes away your mother, your father, a friend, a loved one. Any of them! And you will never see them again. They will be cut apart, torn limb from limb, spleen from spleen in rooms far from their homes, and their body parts shipped like produced meat to places across the galaxy. Imagine what that means! It means that they will end up in the hands of the highest bidder! Their name is a ruse! There is no “Co-Prosperity”, there is only “Co-Conspirator”, and that is why we have already begun the process for the protection of many other civilizations from this sick and twisted evil by inducting them into the Universal Planets of the Galaxy as advanced peoples, something we have already achieved before for us. The union of this evil modern colonialism with the Universal Alien Science Incorporation is deeply disturbing. They seek to take what makes us human and strip it away from us! To ship it to the bourgeoisie in palaces far away! Progress is Progress when it is shared equally by everyone everywhere! The fact that this is not the ideology in the majority of the galaxy means that this is the revolution! We are the underdogs, but God always has the few in his hand, and by his means and by our means we will lift everyone up beyond this cosmos into Heaven! A haven of freedom, justice, equality, prosperity, for all! (short pause) That was a very good question, thank you very much, that was very nice. Next question… (short pause) “Mr. Gamal, what is your plan for the election? Signed, Rami.” That is an excellent question Rami, I will explain our plan. Currently, we stand as the second biggest sphere of influence in the Galaxy, next to the Zeta Reticulan Co-Prosperity Sphere. Therefore, our path of progression is to undermine them and the Lumisource Lamp Party, which has already suffered a controversy regarding the bigotry of the current vice president, Son Loaf. In addition to that, we are entering into an election coalition with Fidel Cacti and the Prickly People’s Revolutionary Party. They are our kin in revolution, they strive and advocate for the progression of peoples everywhere and they have received us kindly. We are brothers in arms and thoughts, and in the revolution! We have yet to organize the structure of the coalition, but we will share the votes and will publish media together. In other news, we are seeking to expand the coalition with the Winter Court, though they may be unsavory, we see them as a rational partner and someone who can bring great prosperity to the galaxy in a ruling coalition. With that said, I thank you all greatly and dearly for tuning into this speech. Remember to vote for our coalition!
