why am I even sharing this? sorry. sorry. I genuinely cant take it anymore. that's all I can even say without getting banned. I screwed up. I really screwed up. I said something and I screwed up EVERYTHING. I ruined everything. I ruined EVERYTHING. I wanna do it so badly so so SO badly, I cant take it anymore, I tried to HMS, I cant. I just CANT. I'm sorry. I cant take anything. i started not eating. I cant take it anymore. I cant. I cant deal with it anymore I cant take it but I CANT I cant even ATTEMPT!!! I can't I don't have anything, Google wont help. I need a way but don't have one, hey pops? I'm gonna join you. oh WAIT! I can't I'm gonna be rotting in h311!!! AND I DESERVE IT. I DEERVE it. I cant do ANYTHING RIGHT. I'm a cringe, annoying, sarcastic, "cold, not fuzzy" CRUEL human being. I LIED, and it came back at me. its karma. I deserve it I DESERVE it, I just want to get on my bike and PEDAL until I cant anymore. I cant take it anymore. I wanna give up so badly. I cant even do that. OH RIGHT! doing it would FREE me. I DESERVE to keep living. I DESERVE IT. I cant take it anymore. I'm so so sorry. I dont know if I can even make it to middle school I need to reach out to someone ANYONE. but I cant do that. I have messages banned. I cant call anyone. all I have is DC. I cant do this anymore. my mom shouldn't even be able to look at me. L, I'm so sorry you might never know your big sister its only going downhill. golf and my dad are the only things I have left. I cant do this. I need help that I cant get. I'm too cowardly to call 998. or to even talk to my coaches. I cant do this. I want a hug. I just want it to be over I want it to stop.
I'm not in a good headspace. the odds of living are higher. but I don't know. I cant do anything. I just wanna see my best friend. I ruined that for myself. I cant do ANYTHING right. I hate my artstyle. my coding sucks. I hit most of my shots horrible. mom I'm sorry. Im so so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me.
