Hihi!~ So, today's proj is abt...... things you should/ shouldn't say or do when sm1 vents to you and how to help them!! (as sm1 who gets vented to a LOT!) ................................................................................. The best way to respond to someone venting depends on what they need in that moment. Most people want to feel heard and validated, not immediately fixed. ❤︎ Things you should do when sm1 vents to you! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ 1. To that you are listening to them! This will make the person feel heard, and better! ⓔⓧⓐⓜⓟⓛⓔⓢ! ♡ "That sounds incredibly frustrating." ♡ "I am so sorry you are dealing with this." ♡ "Wow, I can completely understand why you feel that way." ♡ "That is a really tough position to be in." 2. Asking what they need! This will show that you are there for them! Which makes them feel safer and more comfy! (˶ˆᗜˆ˵) ⓔⓧⓐⓜⓟⓛⓔⓢ! "Do you want me to help you brainstorm solutions, or do you just need to vent?" "Are we looking for a fix right now, or do you just need me to listen?" "How can I best support you through this right now?" To offer empathy! (to show that you are there for them!) This will help them trust you more! And it will make them feel better! ⓔⓧⓐⓜⓟⓛⓔⓢ! "I am here for you. Take all the time you need." "Your feelings are completely valid." "I've got your back, no matter what." ❤︎ Things you should NOT say when sm1 is venting to you! ヽ（≧□≦）ノ When someone is venting, certain phrases can accidentally make them feel hurt, sad, or ignore their feelings. It can also feel like your minimizing their problems, or make them feel judged! NOT a good thing! (┬┬﹏┬┬) Here is what you should avoid saying/doing! 1. Toxic Positivity & Minimizing ⓔⓧⓐⓜⓟⓛⓔⓢ! ♡ "Everything happens for a reason." (Dismisses their actual pain!!) ♡ "It could be worse, look at the bright side!" (makes their struggle feel... invalid! ) ♡ "Just smile and stay positive!" (Forces fake happiness! ) ♡ "It's not that big of a deal." (Decides their problem is small!) 2. Unsolicited Advice & Fixing (advice that they don't want or won't make them feel better! ＞﹏＜ ) ⓔⓧⓐⓜⓟⓛⓔⓢ! ♡ "Well, if you just did ____, it would be fixed." (this shows that the solution is simple and they are silly for not seeing it, and that makes them feel bad!!) ♡ "You should have known better." (Blames them for the situation) ♡ "Why are you letting this bother you?" (Shames them for having an emotional reaction! EVERYONE HAS EMOTIONS! ) 3. One-Upping & Hijacking (Comparing yourself and your problems to theirs! ＞︿＜) ⓔⓧⓐⓜⓟⓛⓔⓢ! ♡ "Oh, you think that's bad? Wait until you hear about my day!" (Steals the spotlight! Makes them feel like they were being dramatic!) ♡ "I went through the exact same thing, and I just..." (Shifts the focus entirely onto you!) 4. Toxic Boundaries & Clichés (saying toxic things, that you think comforts them. It doesn't!!! T^T) ⓔⓧⓐⓜⓟⓛⓔⓢ! ♡ "Calm down." / "Don't cry." (Tells them their natural emotional response is wrong!! again, EVERYONE HAS EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS!) ♡ "Time heals all wounds." (unhelpful, empty cliché instead of real support!) 5. If the person does SH, NEVER EVER tell them to 'just stop'!!!! it's really hurtful and kinda makes it seem like you don't care and looked for the most simple answer!!! 6. If the person has had SA trauma, NEVER EVER TELL THEM IT WAS THEIR FAULT THAT THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!! It's NEVER the victim's fault! (Btw, It's never happened to me, I do have friends that have gone through it sadly :/ ) ⓔⓧⓐⓜⓟⓛⓔⓢ! ♡ "You didn't do anything, you basically asked for it/wanted it." (This is one of THE WORST THINGS YOU CAN SAY!!!! NO ONE WANTS IT TO HAPPEN!!! Please, keep in mind of the person's feelings, too!!!) .................................................................................. Well! That's all! I hope this helped! Bye shotties! >.<
