so there's a random guy and they made me really uncomfortable but idk what to do about it my anxieties are split between not wanting to sound mean by telling them to leave me alone etc and I'm scared bc they said smth about two of my projects being "inappropriate" and I can't tell if they're joking or not it also doesn't help that they haven't told me what's wrong with it yet so I'm confused too and rn I've gotten really paranoid about getting banned bc of smth random and I AM SO SCARED OF THAT I FEEL LIKE MY HC'S/possibly AU'S VER OF METAL LEAFY IN YOYLELAND LIKE BC I HC KINDA THAT SHE HAS AUTOPHOBIA SO BEING ALONE FOR A LONG TIME MADE HER RLLY MISERABLE EVEN IF IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE IT... AND I HAVE AT LEAST TWO FRIENDS THAT HAVE GOTTEN BANNED MORE THAN ONCE AND NOW THEY'RE KIND'VE UNDER A NEW IDENTITY I DON'T WANNA GO THROUGH THAT I DON'T WANNA HIDE AWAY AND PRETEND LIKE I'M A DIFFERENT PERSON I CAN'T DO IT. I WON'T... and that's part of why I kin leafy btw bc I don't wanna be alone ,:] I don't wanna FEEL alone bc it feels awful feel like everyone hates you bc it feels awful also idk if ppl have noticed but I'm like rlly sensitive to criticism or anything that reminds me of being criticized y'know who else gets really sensitive about getting criticized? Leafy. The difference is she gets mad loud and defensive, and I get scared/sad quiet and avoidant and that's my way of defending myself I guess Although who's to say she doesn't ALSO feel anxious in those situations? Just bc you can't fully see an emotion on someone does not mean they don't feel it Oh yeah also I like REALLY hate conflict this might be kinda a stretch, but you could argue that Leafy hates it too cuz there's that one scene in bfb and she says and I quote "I don't like fighting" and she's all nervous YES I know she probably just didn't want to either interact and/or hurt Firey bc uhm obv reasons but if it helps me feel better about myself then I'm gonna argue she just doesn't like conflict in fact if anyone reads this, depending on my current mood, I could be absolutely TERRIFIED that someone's gonna see this and think I'm an attention seeker I'm scared of that all the time tbh cuz I don't wanna make ppl not like me "I don't want people to hate me" - Ragatha hehe but then random stupid anxieties just come in and fluff everything up and I don't know what to do... ...................................................................................................... If the supposed "god" was really so kind and powerful, why do we still suffer. you learn more about ppl everyday huh...
