she awoke with a gaping hole in her chest, the ache of missing her sister stronger than ever. for a little while, the medicine cat just lay there, staring at the ceiling of the den, the dream clinging to her mind like cobwebs. oleanderpaw's laughter still echoed in her ears, buzzing around inside her skull. she could still see that flower field, see ollie's form before it disappeared into the distance. it felt like it was burned into the back of her eyelids. ollie was dead. it was a dream. ever since she'd lost her family, she'd searched for someone to blame. and she'd found starclan. they'd taken ollie. and cottonfluffle. azzie. bluebell, heri, glis. everyone she'd ever loved or cared about, they took from her. one by one. they slipped through her paws like water on their way to the stars, leaving her beneath the very sky she'd been taught to worship. despite her healing, she couldn't save any of them. she'd grown bitter towards her ancestors, cursed the stars she'd looked to for guidance. starclan was sacred, but what of the cats that followed them blindly? did they deserve to be taken away from their loved ones on their way to their early place in the stars? she'd questioned how they could welcome cats with open paws and leave her to grieve, alone. she still remembered her sister's final words to her: "you don't have to chase the stars, we'll be here." "when it's your time, you'll find me again." it took many moons for those words to finally settle in her mind. she'd spent so long blaming starclan for taking those she loved, but it wasn't starclan. death was the one plucking cats from their lives, waiting for the moment a heart faltered, a fox struck, a sickness appeared, too deeply rooted to heal. death was beside every cat she'd ever buried, tears streaming down her face. and death would be beside her too. the thought chilled her too the bone. she began to see it everywhere. lurking in the shadows, hiding in the medicine den, staring at her while she tried to sleep. it stole everything from her. -- part 1: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1364344085/
