- At the drop of a hat - I resent you No... I love you with all my heart Wait... I hate you with all my brain Pause... I miss you with all my being Stop... Stop it please... Stop it with these thoughts I really really love you Do I? Yes I do Theres a reason why I havent stopped texting you Why you're still favorited in my contacts Why my heart skips a beat when I see you unexpectedly Why now I cry over our old texts Because I still keep a little metal box with the lock busted off one that stores a bottle of feelings for you feelings that hope you reach out Do you even miss me? I assume you dont maybe I shouldnt but its the safest excuse drop it as soon as the ants show up At the drop of a hat, if you will I'm holding the hat and now the ants are crawling up my arm biting my neck Scurrying up to my ear and whispering "He doesnt love you anymore" "This decision is final" "He HATES you" I just shake them off but the words still make it through my skull like cracks in a wall they flooded in Itching through my mind flowing through my veins reaching my fingers reaching for my phone "hello" "hi" "hi?" Over and over again an infestation of desperation Scrolling Up Up Up Up to our old messages and old love Up Up Up Up to what used to be good enough Scratching and picking plucking out the ants one by one But there were no ants and there were no scars there was no evidence no need I guess the frequency made me numb numb to anything physical why bother with a temporary solution Thats why the ants came out You thought you were burdening me but you thought wrong Thats why the infestation started Scribbling out rationality every single one thinks of you I miss you so much I know you made an excuse I know you dont want me anymore I know you're much happier now And I just need to learn to accept that I hate you for letting me love you I hate myself for letting my guard down I hate all the reasons my wings shriveled off But if the option presents itself will I still take that chance? Will I hesitate? Should I hesitate? Would I still love you as fiercely as I did before or would I throw up the bugs in my body? Because usually I get over it quickly butterflies gone in a day or two But no matter how hard I try I can't stop liking a soda at the drop of a hat
THE SCRATCH FILTERS WERE ACTUALLY MAKING ME MAD WHILE WRITING THIS ant infestations haha ! ADDED TO CAN OF BUTTERFLIES ! I assume you dont maybe I shouldnt but its the safest excuse drop it as soon as the ants show up Scrolling Up Up Up Up to our old messages and old love Up Up Up Up to what used to be good enough (thats a reference to last poem btw) Would I still love you as fiercely as I did before or would I throw up the bugs in my body? actually the breakup ones have a lot of references hmmmm... weird... its almost as if I WRITE BETTER WHEN THERES A NEGATIVE EMOTION???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?? (sarcasm if the smooth brained ppl dont get it)
