sentimental spoke stuff to make you cry

Instructions

crying hazard uh may also cause you to want to hug chars to death reccomend pressing start because you get a nice gehenna to accompany you :] ----- Spoke continued walking, round the twisted cobblestone walls. *do i deserve to have memories? do i deserve happiness?* he paused. *what even is happiness?* he tried and tried yet couldn't get an answer. an answer that wasn't some sick form of manipulation. *if i don't even know happiness, i must not deserve it.* he paused again. *who even made the term deserve?* he shook his head again. underscore wouldn't like him wasting his time pondering on stupid emotions. ------ *"what a rotten world we're in, that we prefer ourselves to die"* thought spoke as he saw jamato inch closer to the void. *"what a rotten world i'm in, that i can't live in peace"* thought spoke as he popped jamato's totem ------ "Your heart is just black now" , said Jumper, hoping her words would bite through whatever delusion Spoke was in. Spoke merely scoffed. Ever since Purgatory, Jamato only burnt it to ashes. It shouldn't be a surprise. It wasn't, for Spoke. -------- The second Spoke saw Jamato with Mapicc, the memories of him and Jamato before the mafia were forgotten. All he felt was hatred. That hatred had replaced his yearning for the friendship that had died months ago. The next second, he felt a twisted jealousy in his heart. How *dare* Jamato take Mapicc. How *dare* Mapicc join Jamato. The second after that, he felt... grief. Grief that all his friends leave him. Grief that things always are taken away from him. Grief that his most precious person in his world isn't his anymore. The chestplate he was wearing felt heavier than lead. ------- "Spoke, maybe I was wrong. Maybe you didn't have a good heart in the first place." Spoke felt bad. He didn't want to be bad. But being remembered after you die for being bad was so much better than being forgotten. ------ "You can't fix it!" Spoke cried out to Minute, leaping through the water, dancing over the void as if taunting death itself. And that's true, isn't it? Because everybody tells him he can't. ------- what is the point of what he controls if he's just going to lose it all? ------- "You're evil" is what was told to spoke when he wasn't. "You're evil" is what was told to spoke when he was. It's not a shocker, is it? ------ Spoke cared till he bled, till he sweat. He never got anything out of it. That's not very great for someone who is starving. ------ "I know you," smirked Jamato, mask glistening in the lime green light of the clearing. Arrogance was tainted beneath, strong, suffocating, powerful. "You know nothing!" spat Spoke. Jamato knew nothing about Spoke. Because he burnt the original Spoke to death. Burnt and beat and tore whatever version of him cared, cried, loved. He tore all of that happiness out. Jamato doesn't know [REDACTED] [REDACTED] doesn't exist. ------ If we were to ask Spoke to throw the thing he hates most into the sea so he lives with less worries. He wouldn't be alive. ------ Spoke lay on the stone floor of the clearing of the wraith. The green and yellow fireworks had littered the floor nearby, and some stuck to his clothing. Somehow, he couldn't bear to pry them off. *Why do people tell me to forgive, yet they don't forgive?* *Why do people tell me to forget, yet they don't forget?* *... i can't even forget either.* *what even makes me better?* -------------------------