TW: vent, depress1on, t0xicity, other sens1tive topics, loneliness Something. A longing that feels like a desert. A love that almost feels gone. A toxic friendship that haunts me. My best friend... she turned into... she doesnt make eye contact. i feel glass in my eyes. both tears and her shards. i dont care, it doesn't get to me, but that's what the shinunoga e wa is for and the yoongi and BTS edits and their backstory and that if they can do it i can do it too. the courage the philosophy. and wow i didnt expect it would hit this hardand literally after this it played you don;t know nightcore and dang. and it hit hard. and then promise by jimin nightcore and legit i almost cried.
im past the darker past. It's not bad. at all. i wish i could tell ms pan(my counselor) but i have no words. i have no words for the invisible hand that lingers in the air. that sting of loneliness that mountain of love that i hate but that's so beautiful and fake that lingers in the bottom of the abyss that i live in. not completely bed-sad, but stuck to the stalking in my dreams that acts as the parasocial invisible connection, a hook that i wished i grabbed, and everythin' goes awry. a smile im done pretending with.
