I'm done. my parents don't get it. nobody gets it. Recently, I have been very depressed. it made me not want to leave my bed. I didn't want to clean. my parents think I'm lazy. my mom called me a hoarder. told me she wasn't going to live like that. and I get it, I don't want to live like this. but I'm done. I might go on hiatus. today, my mom told me she would share my messy room with EVERYONE. just because I cant get under my bed to clean it anymore. it is one of those fancy beds that cant be moved. The space between the floor and the bed is very narrow. I just cant fit. I have tried. I started wondering if she would care if I ran away or just dissapeared. I shouldn't have to do that. it got to the point to where I stayed up too late. it was my only time of peace. My mom says she doesnt have favorites, like every mom, but she makes it painfully obvious that she does. I'm the older sibling to my little sister. and I love my whole family. but I have lost my trust for people. I just want someone to listen. to hold. is that so much to ask? or am I being dramatic? someone please tell me.
I love being in Spop, but I might leave a few groups. not because I want to, but because its too much for me right now. please understand. I'm very lonely, and really need someone. I honestly don't care if its a girlfriend or just a friend in general. I'm VERY lonely. Thank you for listening. I might not post this. if I do, please don't hate on the people I have mentioned. its my fault I'm like this. Here are some songs that helped me cope. Nymphology - Melanie Martinez Blue - Yung Kai Dandelions - Ruth B All For You - ILLIT Pimple - ILLIT Gone - Rose' Toxic - BoyWithUke Monolith - Melanie Martinez DEATH - Melanie Martinez Love, Older You - ILLIT That's all. Bye, angels...
