(Again, sorry for the wait! hope y'all are still out there cuz the sagas not over yet... TW: Normal stuff {PG13} +slight v10lenc3...0-0) Chapter 28: Kai Reasons I should confess: -You only live once? -You never know if you never try? -Sh00ting my sh0t? Reasons I won't: -What if it gets awkward? What if she doesn't talk to me anymore? -What if she thinks it's fake? Like when I said I wanted to ktss her? -...She's already got a b07fr13nd Monday, November 6th, 11:33am There is only so long that someone can feel sorry for themself before they snap out of it. Right? The worst part about it is I have the means to change my bleak future. One sentence, one moment of courage to admit to my mom that I don't want to move. Barely long enough to matter. One moment of courage to tell the truth to June and leave it out there, see what happens. One moment to fight for something that matters. That's all it boils down to. One moment of bravery. One moment of courage. Too bad it's a moment I don't have. I've always thought of my passive attitude as good. I don't pick fights. I don't say things that stir tension. I keep my head down, I stay quiet. Now all I see in myself is cowardice. I sigh and grab my backpack, heading to lunch. I can't even appreciate what I have right now, before I lose it. All the stress and anxiety and extra busyness feels like it's driving me away from all the people I want to stay close to. Specifically Wyatt Carter. I don't even know where he is today. I saw him in the hall, but we don't share a ton of classes, and he wasn't waiting in our usual spot. My stomach sours. I know I'm really lucky. A lot of guys don't have close friendships like me and Wy. Or even me and the twins. I guess you take stuff for granted until you can't take it at all anymore. I see Cyrus and Cody at our table and a little of the pressure falls off my shoulders. It's a relief to have at least a few people who don't know. Who act like everything is normal. But for them, it is. Honestly, will they even care all that much when I'm gone? Okay, OKAY pity party over, Kai. "Hey guys. What's up?" Cyrus smirks. "Not my grades, that's for sure." "Cyrus," Cody groans. "You're going to get in so much trouble-you promised you'd help me plan Annie's party! How can you do that if you're grounded?!" Cyrus shoots his brother an annoyed look and gestures for me to sit, which I do. "It's not like I'm going to shout it from the rooftops. Plus, I told her I'll stop slacking and I WILL. By the time she sees my teachers I'll be flying high with B's or whatever." "B's are NOT what Mom wants." Cody grumbles, st4bbing at his noodles. Cyrus ruffles his hair and he glares. "Not all of us can be perfect little A+ angels, darling. That's reserved for you and Carter, our resident teacher's pets." He glances at me. "Speaking of which, where is that kid?" I shrug. "Dunno. Haven't really seen him." Cody frowns. "Did you guys fight or something? Come to think of it-the group chat's been awfully quiet..." I point at Cyrus. "Um-no. It hasn't." "RELATIVELY quiet." Cody amends. "Cy sp4mming emojis and gifs does not count." I sigh. "I think it's just a-busy season, I guess." "Tell me about it." Cyrus jumps in, waving his fork so aggressively, Cody is in danger of needing a new eye. "We've been doing so much freaking conditioning, I'm not going to be able to walk by the time we play next week. Coach is ruthless." Cody makes some retort and the two start bickering again, but my attention is drawn to the other side of the cafeteria, where Wyatt Carter is sitting across from- June? I blink. Wyatt blew us off to sit with her instead? Why? He doesn't...like her, does he? No, I'm sure he would tell me. Most likely they're chatting about books or something. I feel a pang in my chest. It's jealousy, I know, but not exactly of something specific. I'm jealous of the idea of a life where I could walk over there, plop down, and join their conversation without a care in the world. My chest feels hollow inside. Like I'm already losing them both. "-he wouldn't do that if you weren't watching Char half of practice. In fact, if you would just be more diligent in your life IN GENERAL-" "Diligence is for nerds who actually know what that means." Cyrus says flippantly. "And I was not. I mean I don't. It's not my fault she's always in the way." "Sitting on the bleachers. Doing her homework." Cody deadpans. "How is that POSSIBLY in your way? Why won't you just admit it you totally-" "Huh?" I interject, looking in between them. "Who's Char?" Cyrus gives a look so venomous, I'm surprised Cody doesn't shrink back. "Not important to the conversation." Cody rolls his eyes. "This IS the conversation!" I blink, feeling a little lost. Since when is there a girl that gets Cy all defensive? Usually he's our prime fl1rt. But the look on his face right now is the closest to flustered I've ever seen him. How long has this been a thing? Have they been keeping it from me, or is it maybe just that-
We're growing apart? Slowly. But surely. I'm losing everyone. Chapter 29: June Things I never expected to happen: -Fail a test -Get a dog -Have my hair actually look decent right after being in a pool -Today. Just...everything about today Monday, November 6th, 11:22am "Hey, so um...hi." I set my tray down and give Wyatt Carter an awkward little wave. "Hi. How are you?" "Okay." He fidgets with his hoodie sleeve before looking up. "You?" "Okay." I agree. It's an even answer. Not the worst, but not the best. Somewhere in the middle, unsure where I stand. "What did you want to talk about?" There is an awkward sort of tension in the air. We both know each other but we don't really...know, each other. Basically we know each others names, we've heard about each other and we've waved seeing each other at the supermarket before, but we've never really...talked. Just him and me. It's not bad, but I don't really know what to do. Are we friends? Not really. Friends of friends, but that's too weirdly specific. "Yeah." Wyatt sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Okay, I just need to get this off my chest. Has Kai been, uh, ghosting you?" I blink. Whatever I was expecting it was not THAT. "Uh, yeah, I guess so. Why?" "Well I just wanted you to know it's not just you." Wyatt doesn't make eye contact, just stares at his food. I get the feeling it hurts to admit it. "He's going through some...stuff right now. And he's super busy. I just-he can't apologize right now, or won't, or doesn't know how and so I'm doing it for him." "Oh." My heart sinks. "Is he okay? What's the matter?" "I...can't say." Wyatt says, shrugging. "Y'know, best-friend confidentiality or whatever." He smiles but his eyes don't mirror it. "He's not in like-danger or anything. Just a tough point of life. And I don't think he wants to bother anyone or burden them with it-but I know he wouldn't want you to think he was brushing you off and-well. I guess I don't really know how to help so I'm doing the best that I can." I don't speak, just slide around the table till I'm beside him and wrap my arms around him. It doesn't feel awkward. In fact, it's almost natural, to comfort someone who needs it. Wyatt squeezes back and closes his eyes for a second, and when he opens them and pulls away, he glances off, brushing a hand across his eyes. "Anyway, this is super unrelated but I heard you like the Hunger Games?" I nod. "Yeah. I love reading. The movies are great too, but only in addition." Wyatt's eyes widen. "Exactly!" He side-eyes me. "Peeta or Gale?" "Peeta all the way." I tell him. "Gale doesn't need to d13 or anything, but him and Katniss have ZERO chemistry. You?" "Same! Honestly he just got progressively worse as the books went on." Wyatt is practically beaming now. "Man, it will be SO awesome to finally have a friend who reads, Cyrus, Cody and Kai drive me MAD-" He pauses, glancing over with a question in his eyes, probably realizing what he just said. "Definitely." I agree. "Don't even ask how many times my fictional references went over Kai's head when we were stuck at school. It was almost sad." "Seriously." Wyatt laughs. "That boy really needs to read more. And he calls ME clueless!" I snort, then almost jump when I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, June. Walk with me?" I glance at Penten, then at Wyatt, who has the expression like his sandwich was doused with lemon. But maybe I imagined it, because the next second he's smiling and waving his hands. "It's fine. Talk later?" His voice is almost shy at the question and I beam. "Yeah, totally. Annie reads a little, we should start a book club or something!" "And force Kai to join." Wyatt adds and I nod, then follow after Penten. We head out of the cafeteria and down the hallway to his locker, where he puts some books in, before turning to me. "What's the deal with the Carter kid?" "Wyatt?" I ask. "Oh, he's a friend." Penten is quiet for a second. "Have you thought about it?" "About...what?" I feel a little uneasy. He's acting different than usual. Maybe it's just the vibe. "Us. Together." I blink. "Like...a couple?" He rolls his eyes a little impatiently. "Yes, June. Remember?" "Well, yeah, but I kinda thought we agreed to go slow and figure it out-" Penten steps closer. "We've been doing that. I want an answer." Instinctively I step back and nearly conk my head on the lockers. "Um-I think I'd like to get to know you a little-um better first? I don't want to have to-" "You know me fine." Penten snaps and my heart rate picks up. And not in the butterfly way. In the now-is-the-time-to-run way. "Don't you remember before? We were so good together." That is definitely not how I'd describe it. "Penten, we have class we've got to-" "Do you need convincing?" I blink again. When did he get so close?! "No, I'm really sorry but my answer is no I'm not ready for anything like-" And then he's ktssing me. Ran out of space, end of chapter: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1388351594
