Rubyshine had no path charted in her mind as she stumbled over a empty log. Prey scurried by, quickly forgotten to the agile silver pelted, brown eyed cat. The sun shone, filtering through the forest's greenery, dancing on anything the warm light touched. Any cat would guess her to be collecting herbs, to be looking for some type of cure for some type of illness, but Rue had no desire to. She wanted to take a break, to get some air. To escape. Escape from the commotion of her forbidden lover's murder and imprisonment, her mother's sickness (which only added to the Clan drama, considering Butterflypelt was also the temporary deputy in Rue's mother's place), her kits hating her, her role, everything. It was too much. Too much to ask of a medic. Was that all she was? A cat who healed the ill, a cat who had a father she wouldn't ever meet until death, no sibling, the child of the deputy. Moonshine, this was /exhausting/. Part of her wished she had picked a different path, and then maybe she would never even be here, Moonshine's watching gaze settled furiously on her. She dreaded visits to the Moontree now, spending the entire night listening to Moonshine's protests of her love. But she /loved/ Butterflypelt. She really did. She loved the stubborn, stupid she-cat with all her heart. Her brown tabby fur, her blue eyes, her smile, her hug, her voice, her laugh, her… Rubyshine was a lovestruck fool for her. Dear Moonshine, she could spend the rest of her life sitting next to her and watching the sunset together. She loved their kittens, every one of them. Ladybug, Forest, Hope, Sapphire.. Oh, she felt as if her heart would burst. Why can't she just be a cat in love? A cat with a family? Her love hadn't… it hasn't affected any cat but her life. Rubyshine would die for LilyClan, Lilystar knew that. But she couldn't love a murderer. It would slowly, painfully sink them both. It would end up horribly. Butterflypelt acted out of instinct, Rue knew, but Foxpaw never deserved that. Rubyshine remembered when Butterflypelt returned to Rubyshine, sobbing with blood-stained claws. Pathetic and helpless. Rubyshine remembered the shock on Lilystar's face when Ruby told Lilystar of Butterflypelt's unintentional murder, the very cat they had both believed to be innocent. The pain. Moonshine, Rubyshine was done.
