Vent: 13+ Why can’t I just be cis? Isn’t being lesbian enough? Why am I questioning my thoughts on being a girl… I know im not a boy. But I have doubts about being a girl. Nonbinary seems so freeing. But I can’t My mom doesn’t understand theythem pronouns. I can’t wear a binder cause I’m fat ash. I hate this. I wan,t to feel comfortable, but I don’t deserve comfort. I know people dont like me and I don’t even like myself. Why can’t I just actually love myself? Why isn’t there a friend I can tell this to. Oh shoot I remember. IM THE THERAPIST FRIEND. And my stupid damn friend thinks the world revolves around her but I can’t lose her idk why. I wish someone was there I could vent to. But therapy is hel.la expensive. And if I don’t play the therapist for my friends? I am worth nothing. Not a cent. I don’t know why I have this mentality. Maybe because it’s true. I JUST WANT TO FIT INMY OWN SKIN ISTG WHY CANT I JUST PICK A LANE? I AM JUST A STUPID PATHETIC TEENAGER THAT HAS GENDER DYSMORPHIA AND IM NOT SPECIAL IM NOT DIFFERENT AND RIGHT NOW IM STARING AT MY SCEEN LIKE A FR.EAKING LOSER TYPING THIS. what am I even doing anymore? Hah. But riddle me this: Why Cant I Just Be The Same? Why is it different now? Why is my mental state tanking? Why do I want to be non-binary now? Why does it feel like I’m locked up? Why do I fit all the symptoms of pure o ocd? I don’t know. Like how I don’t even know my own damn gender. I bet you my mom will not take this well. She isn’t transphobic but… Idk. Mentality.
