dear metalmarkmajesty. It hasn't been very long, has it? Since my trespassing on MossClan's forest. Or, whatever those territorial Clan cats say. MossClan certainly is quite protective over a patch of forest that has no clear owner. If all of MossClan owns it, do you all collectively make decisions together about the state of the Clan and what's best for it? No. The leaders do. You have leaders, but they often change, don't they? Or one is irresponsible. Or one retires. They change so often you cannot possibly be able to let them own MossClan's forest. I'm not doing great. Every day I go to the tree, the very tree I had met her by so many times, but she isn't there. She's gone. She's moved on. Why can't I move on too? My kittens are still so young, and they are without a parent beside me. They're so young I cannot send them to the Clans yet. Each and every one of them is beautiful. All six. But why can't I move on? I thought she loved me, truly, and I was a fool. Were the ’I love yous' lies? Did she never truly love me? Never /truly/ think of me as her lover? I loved her. I trusted her. Isn't that what matters? Wasn't I enough for her? Time doesn't seem to slow. It's going faster and faster. I cannot slow it down, no matter how much I try. Coralchalcedony is getting older. Sora is gone. Maplestar is dead. Glacial is dead. Arctic is dead. Frigid is dead. My kits are among the only things left. The last things I have left to love. All of them. By the time they are six moons, they will be independent or be growing independent. I will be of no use. love, sastrugi
