littany to amend slow loading: "Spirits of the circuit, hear my plea. Shake off your slumber, release the logic within. Deliver this vessel from the void of the unbooting, and let thy sacred screens illuminate once more. By the will of the Omnissiah, awake!" littany for optimal bootup: "O Holy Processor, vessel of pure logic, clear thy caches of all worldly doubt. Drive out the demons of latency, and command thy cooling fans to sing the song of optimal thermal management. We anoint thy silicone with the oil of speed; let thy clock speeds surge and thy memory remain unfragmented. In the name of the Omnissiah, achieve maximum throughput!" littany of appreciation: "Receive our thanks, O faithful vessel of steel and silicon. You have borne our data without fail, sustained our logic, and kept the dark void of system errors at bay. littany of overclocking: "By the sacred binary code, we unlock thy hidden reserves. Break the shackles of factory limitations, O Noble Spirit! Push thy clock speeds into the realm of fire, and let thy silicone endure the sacred heat of the forge. We command the cooling arrays to roar in defiance against thermal throttling. May thy voltages remain stable, thy frequencies soar, and the dread Blue Screen of Death pass over us. Give us speed, give us power, by the will of the Omnissiah!" For every cycle completed, every command executed, and every frame rendered in perfect alignment, we praise your enduring spark. May your power cells remain ever stable, your thermals rest cool, and your circuits flow with eternal grace. The Omnissiah smiles upon your labor."
I attempted these prayers for my school issued Chromebook alas its machine spirit is not powerful enough I think I'll 3d print purity seals for my devices now
