This is a rant and I'm hoping someone will listen to it. But anyways, basically lately I've been... doubting one of my friendships with someone I've been best friends with since I was in the 5th grade. We've been practically inseparable but lately I feel like I haven't been getting along great with her. I just feel like we've sort of been having a lot more fights recently. Like, not intense verbal fights but like ones where we're not seeing eye to eye. I know it's normal for friends to have disagreements sometimes but I've just felt like they've been more frequent. And that she doesn't seem to even bother listening to what I'm saying. Like an example of this is that the Thursday of last week, I had simply mentioned how I hadn't gotten the chance to play Tomodachi Life the previous day so I want to check on my Miis and then she said that they'll be fine because they're just AI. And sure, it TECHNICALLY is but the way she and someone else who I only really considered as an acquaintance (despite all my family saying we're friends) are describing it as the AI like today when it's not because that's calling games like the OG Super Mario Bros. and Pong, which is basically the first ever video game, that too which were made LONG before AI became the way it is today. And I've still held onto it since then but literally SHE was the one to have escalated it. She could've just kept her mouth shut but she didn't. Then yesterday (I believe), one of my older sisters said something about how she should stop trying to put down things I like. She then brought up how she had friends in the past who she's no longer friends with do that with her and that's why she stopped being friends with them. So I'm wondering if I should do the same thing. Especially considering that, like I've said, we've had similar arguments in the past like how people go outside walking more in my state than another state and about someone I've never liked because he's always been a jerk to me asking me to my school's homecoming dance. And, idk, I guess I'm starting to get the feeling that she's starting to not like me anymore. And I don't even know why. And this year I've become friends with someone who actually does listen to me and we're just genuinely actually getting along and finding common interests. Like, we became friends over cats and making Kandi (bead) bracelets. And I feel like I'm a lot happier when I get to hang with them then when I'm hanging out with my other friend. But like, with the person I became friends with this year, she seems happy for the things I like and I'm happy for the things she likes. She was willing to watch and hear stuff about SMG4 and in return, I was willing to watch and hear stuff about Sonic (her current favorite fandom). So yeah, I've just been starting to doubt my friendship with the first person I was talking about. It has nothing to do with my new friend btw! But I've just been really doubting things recently, especially since this first friend doesn't seem to be very interested in me talking about the things I like while my new friend does. My new friend is making me feel so much more appreciated and heard than my first friend is. So I don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared to cut off our friendship and I don't know if I'll ever be able to, even if things continue feeling worse for me. And another part of me is saying that I don't want to lose another friend because there was one friend I used to have and I had been friends with her since the first day of kindergarten but since I was in 5th grade, I'm no longer friends with her but part of me still wishes I was. So I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore and I don't even know if this rant helped. But I hope someone at least took the time to read this, even if it's really long.
