TW: emeto everyone has an illness hereditary or not everyone has an illness You call people sick when they feel sick but when it is but a trick of the mind it isn't anymore instead it is bile thump. thump. the bile in my stomach shifts like a ship it crashes into my organs and up my esophagus it threatens to spill i swallow it down before i hurt You thump. thump. i am often ill thump. thump. every day my stomach churns at the smallest word i ask to stay home from school but i am told i cannot i cannot risk hurting people even though i know it would be a lose-lose thump. thump. i stumble through each day waiting for the time where i will throw up sometimes i am force fed zinc with nothing else to swallow and i fret what You think when i can't hold it in thump. thump. there has never been a time where i didn't hold it in thump. thump. thump. but my heart beat all the same thump. thump. thump. except a little bit faster i couldn't tell myself different i always told myself that i was lesser than You thump. thump. thump. that You knew best thump. thump. thump. thump. to keep the emotions in thump. thump. thump. thump. and put my feelings to rest thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. But i Don't Care What you Think thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. i Don't Care At All!!! thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. Why Would i Care About Someone Who Would Prefer me Gone?! thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. Why Would i Care About Someone Who Wants me To Sink? thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. Why Would i Care About Someone Who Wants me To Throw Up? thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. WHY WOULD i CARE ABOUT SOMEONE WHO LIKES SEEING me SICK?! thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. WHY WOULD i CARE ABOUT SOMEONE WHO ONLY SEES me FOR MY ILLNESS?! thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. WHY WOULD i CARE?!?! thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. i AM NOTHING TO you! WHY DO you ACT LIKE WHAT i SAY HURTS you SO MUCH WHEN you KNOW EVERY WORD i SPEAK IS LIKE A LANDMINE TO THROW UP! thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. EVERY DAY WITH THE ZINC AND THE ROLLER COASTER RIDES AND THE READS IN THE CAR, AND THE AIRPLANES AND THE PERFUME AND THE SMELL OF DIESEL, FISH, VERTIGO, HIGH HEAT, AND THE STUFFY ROOMS. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. AND you JUST FEED IT, MORE AND MORE FORCE FEEDING, SHOVING, HURTING, SWEETS UPON SWEETS UNTIL YOU'RE HURT FROM THE BILE i SPEW. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. I DON'T CARE. I DON'T CARE. I DON'T CARE. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. thump. I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean any of it. Are you okay?
