Something really scary happened tonight. I'm still scared, but I wanted to write this so maybe I could keep it from happening for someone else. This is long, but please read this if you're struggling right now. Even if it doesn't help a lot, I hope it helps even just a little bit. You deserve love. If you think you don't, you're wrong. I will not accept any arguments. "But I'm a bad person because-" No. Not hearing it, I don't care, you deserve to be loved. We are all human, we all have our flaws. And that is okay. We've all done bad things, none of us are perfect. All that matters is we try to improve to the best of our ability. I say the best of our ability because change is hard! Self improvement is not easy! And it can be more difficult for some people! Is it impossible? No. It takes time. It takes support. It could take help from other people, but does that mean you should feel guilty about it? No! Please don't feel bad if you need help. It isn't "cheating", it's what you need and nobody should ever deny it from you. You do not deserve pain. I'm not judging you if you've done it, I have too. But I haven't for a while now and I'm proud of myself for that. Not sure how long exactly, but a while. If you've been staying clean too, good job! I am so happy for you!! I know how hard it is to do that, so amazing job!! Even just 1 day, or 2 days, I'm so proud of you. It's hard to stop. If you haven't been able to stop, I am not here to judge you. I am here to tell you I'm sorry you're going through so much right now, and I really hope things get better for you soon. I mean that. Even if there aren't major things happening in your life, and you're just in a real rough spot and you aren't even sure why, I totally get it. Please don't feel guilty because of that. Your suffering is still valid, please don't think you aren't allowed to feel sad. I probably won't know the majority of people who read this, but if this is something you needed to read today, I want you to know that I care about you. Even if we've never met or talked, I want you to see tomorrow and all the tomorrows after. I want you to have a good life, and I know that you can keep going to see what you were continuing for. You've made it so far already. Just try to get through one day at a time. Focus on the little things that make you happy throughout the day, you might find a lot. Some days can be harder than others, and that's okay. It's okay to break down. It's healthier to let the tears flow instead of holding them back. Try to get good sleep, maybe try to change your sleep schedule if it's not looking too good, drink water, and remember that even if you think nobody cares about you, a random stranger on the internet does. And so does this lizard. This lizard doesn't care what you've done, it doesn't care who you are. It will love you regardless. And I will too. Please keep going. It will be worth it. I promise.
