please take a moment to read this entire essay completely before jumping to conclusions or commenting anything negative or constructive. thank you :) no ai used whatsoever. dear scratch, many children in online spaces have tendencies of victimizing themselves, spreading misinformation, ignoring, and gaslighting in order to stay in the good books of others. they do it without harmful intentions. they do it because they're afraid that no one will like them if they admit to their wrongdoings. i've been there too. and you know what? that's okay. spop is a community filled with children (primarily teenagers). being a teenager is messy. it's a transition. it's a phase where people are figuring out their true personalities, develop insecurities, and gain a need for external validation. age doesn't excuse actions, however. i'm a firm believer of accountability. in fact, it's one of the principles i live by. but we shouldn't expect kids like us to act like seasoned adults and professionals. kids aren't therapists. kids (most, at least) are not in the workforce. kids change their minds easily. kids are moldable. most kids don't have a strong sense of individuality. kids contradict themselves sometimes. we can't expect a community filled with kids to be all sunshines-and-rainbows and drama free. that's unrealistic. in order to make our community "non-toxic", we end up bottling our own feelings towards each other until a massive fall-out happens. we all make mistakes. me, you, and even the most picture-perfect, popular scratcher you could think of. instead of forcing an absurd standard that everyone must like everyone, we should let everyone breathe. take a deep breath. it is okay to not like everyone. does that mean you should go out of your way to dislike someone without even getting to know them? no. does that mean you should go and hurt somebody? absolutely not. while constructive criticism is necessary, keep in mind that almost every single person in this community are below eighteen. people all have their own problems, both online and offline. you shouldn't assume that you're going through the worst. while you shouldn't minimize your pain, you shouldn't live under a mindset that no one could have a worse life than you. many people won't take criticism easily, especially if they didn't ask for it. maybe it's time we let ourselves take a step back and reflect. drama is unavoidable, but we could make our online lives better by being more honest with each other. more open, instead of letting other people guess what you think of them. you can confide in people, but don't get upset when kids can't understand or effectively talk to you about your trauma. let's detox. let's look around and realize that barely anyone has malicious intent in our community. we're all kids. kids who want to fit in. we're kids. to whoever is reading this, it is okay. take a deep breath. no one hates you. everyone cares about you. don't feel desperate to make everyone like you. don't feel like spiraling. if you are, it's still going to be okay. emotions are only human, who am i to tell you to stop feeling? no matter what someone does, they do not deserve misery. no one deserves to feel trapped and alone. no one deserves to feel abandoned. NO ONE DESERVES HATRED. unless they've committed a heinous crime, of course, which is not the case for all of our spoppers. i'm not saying that i'm some perfect saint who follows dharma to a T. i have made mistakes. i made mistakes two days ago. i made mistakes yesterday. i made mistakes today. i'm not trying to lecture you. i'm not any better, if i'm being honest. these words help me as much as they help anyone else. i feel like spiraling sometimes. i feel like crying, most of the time. you're not the only one, and i'm not the only one. we all experience pain, it's alright if you don't know what to do with it, and it's alright if it makes you lash out or break down. truth be told, i don't know what to do with it either. but just know, everything is going to be okay. for everyone. it's okay if you don't have everything figured out. it's okay if you feel like crying. it's okay if you feel angry. it's okay if you feel happy. it's okay if you don't feel. it's okay if you feel too much. (there's no such thing as too much, in all honesty) it's okay if you feel down. it's okay if you feel wonderful. it's okay. sincerely, irene
