so uh..im not really ok..emotions and thoughts are getting to me, and it's just tiring me even more and more. for one, I don't even feel the urge to do school work any more, even tho it matters a lot. I barely did anything today matter of fact... I just keep thinking I'm stupid and worthless as per usual, but it's just something to mention.. the thing concerning me the most is the fact that part of me is thinking my bf doesn't really love me much anymore, and I hate it so, so much. i've been having the thought usually throughout the nighttime(which funnily enough is when im typing this down) and I just think that maybe the person that I care so, so much about and love as much as I love me mom(which, by the way, is insanely unconditional...I miss my mom), just doesn't love me that much anymore. I know he loves me, I guess that I just worry that I'm wrong and that he doesnt really love me as much as I love him. I'd like to mention that my bf is poly, which I'm not complaining that he's dating more than one person(he's dating me and someone else), it's just the love he feels for me specifically feels like it's just..slowly going away, and I don't know what to do about it, and a certain friend that I have is just, pretty possessive over my bf.... and as of recent i've been making kinda stupid decisions which get me in slight trouble w my dad and he just gets mad at me and I feel stupid about myself and think that im stupid and worthless. I feel worthless and sometimes just straight up a bad person that doesn't deserve my amazing bf and my friends, and I sometimes just want to run away from my house, hoping things would be better like that..but I know it wouldn't, it would just be terrible. I don't know what to do anymore, and I have no way to occupy my brain with something I can enjoy or a good or decent hobby to also get my mind off things.. I will also mention that it's easy for me to be pretty kind online than in person..most of the time....
Toby Fox for It's Raining Somewhere Else and the OneShot dev team for the image I hate myself and my life..
