i will never understand. why? why does it have to be me who's bullied? why does it have to be me who's depressed? why does it have to be me who's constantly ignored? why does it have to be me who struggles with school? just why? WHY? ive been called ugly, ive been told to "shut up" when i say one word. ive been told that my pronouns are "fee fi fo fum" ive been told to do more and more work when i need a break. and school on top of all that? i cant. im so ugly. im so dumb. how? just HOW the hell do you guys think im cool? if you met me irl, you'd hate me. im two completely different people here, and irl. i have friends now, and im pretty sure they're real, but i still have that feeling stuck in my body. I. WANT. IT. GONE. i don't even know how to explain this anymore. i drop everything just to even talk to you guys because i love it so much. remember when i said i was caught in a depressive state and said i got out of it? im so sorry. i lied to you. everything and everyone here makes me feel better. about myself. about life. i dont even know what else to say. like, i jinxed myself. i said "oh grade 6 is over, grade 7 is sure to be better" those were my exact words. and now i feel like its worse than last year, just for different reasons. i want this year to be over becuase of all the crap i had to suffer through. but at the same time, this year was good. i dont even know what i want. i dont know what else im meant to say.
update 10/18/26: a close friend of mine was forced to leave scratch so now i feel even worse. im so scared thats it gonna happen to me, i love her and miss her sm its not even funny.
