Vent: 13+ Hey guys. Thanks for reading this. Im sorry for venting to you all Im just so tired. I always laugh on my posts… I don’t really want to laugh. Not right now. Im listening to music right now. Loud music on full volume. I don’t care that it’s bad for my ears. I don’t really care about me right now. I I dont know I feel like having a panic attack or smth. But im to tired. And you can’t really do that, can you? But I would if I could I deserve it. Oh shoot I forgot to mention. Im getting worst. I didn’t eat anything until someone told me to. My friend wanted to get boba. I said yes. Kind of regret it. I didn’t eat anything until then. It’s fine. It’s always fine. It’s funny though, because I WAS getting better. I was eating meals. But my fat:/ was too fat, so I decided to lay off a bit. Im going to overeat anyway. I feel sad huh. I feel like my heart is cold and giving up in the least medical sense ever. I think im starting to lose it. I’ve stoped caring tbh. Grades? Nope dont give a :/. What ppl think? Sure, give them the fakey. My body? Do whatever the h.ell u want. I want to care, but no one else does. Feel like abstracting. But I can’t do that. It’s real life. I hate this. I hate all of it. My body, me… And I hate that I have to go to scratch for venting. I hate that you are all people too that actually listen to me and you play the therapist because IM supposed to be the therapist. And it sucks being the therapist friend. I don’t want to put u through that. Today you could notice it so well. Odd questions. Weird attitude. Im kind of sick of pretending. I kind of just want to float in space. Freezing temperature, Running out of oxygen… I don’t know. Tehehe. I said I wasn’t gonna laugh. It’s ok because I break promises all the time. It doesnt matter in the long game. Like do I need it? Do I need these small things? Do I need a gender? I hate this. My room is such a mess. Everything’s a mess. Damn. So many spaces I want to cry cry cry At school At home In front of you Behind your back My friends dont really care. Im an extra. I tried talking to my friend today. Ignored. I tried talking to my friend. Made kind of fun of. I tried talking to my friend. Didn’t want to talk to me. I tried talking to my friend. Gave up. Don’t worry they are all different people. Is that better? I should start thinking of the good things today. Uhh I got boba? Oh. Oh yeah I regret that. Uhhh I finished You know what never mind. This :/ sucks. I want to be skinny and have a wolf cut and go by they them and be happy and my parents proud and get into [fancy school]. But I won’t. I just know it. Oh well. What else should I talk about… I don’t know. Im tired. I don’t want to think. That’s why my music is so loud :) Ihmssmlisrjslaguoeilalatbhnowen
