Vent: 13+ Bahahhahaahhahahahaahhaaahahhaahhaahhaahhahahahahahahahahahaahhahaahhahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahaahhaahhahahahaahahahahahhahahahahaahhahahaahhahaah Hah. Wellll so like my friends hate me :) I mean like why wouldn’t you tho Im sorry my friends that see this post. Sorry sharko and tiger. I want to stop being so annoying. I want to let you just stop needing to tell me how much you like me… and for it to go through my thick s.kull Uhh so this doesn’t apply to you guys I suppose :) love you Let’s go to see who hates me Well first I have my friend who let’s call e. She hates me because I’m clingy. I ask to paint with her when she’s busy I think and it wastes her time. I keep on asking her to do it and she says yes… im sorry e. I asked e to follow her during lunch today. It was fun for a bit. Then I felt like I wasn’t needed and no one liked me. I went to a classroom with her to eat, but I didn’t eat anything so I just kind of sat there. When e talked to her friends I just kind of… avoided them. She was laughing and having so much fun. I didn’t want to ruin it for her. I didn’t want to wedge myself into a friend group that doesn’t need or want me. I felt pretty alone. So I when back to my other friends. My other friend, let’s call her p, was my friend I thought. Then she kind of just ghosted or left me I guess.she never told me why. She seems really mad at me. I don’t know what I did. I screwed up im sure. It’s my fault. But I don’t think she is ok either. She might not want to live anymore…. I really want her to live. I hope she knows that. I… I hope she doesn’t do it. Im scared but I am not sure so I won’t act on it yet. She seems a lot happier with everyone else too. It’s becoming more and more obvious. Hah. We have been friends for like 5 years I think. I don’t want to ruin it over something I don’t know. I hate that before she ignored me we were reaching a very amazing time of our friendship. I don’t know. Is two friends enough to prove? I can also throw in another special guy. My dad. Oh my :/ing :/ My dad seems to know when I feel somewhat happy and actually want to leave my room for once. And thats when he is pi.ssed off and decides to make snarky remakes and ruins what I wanted to be a half decent day. These remarks can be anything. Anything… . I feel bad for him though. I think he has an ed and maybe depression. And he’s been through a lot more than me. So I shouldnt feel bad, he should. Also he likes to tell us (me and my sister) his marriage problems kind of. He’ll be like ‘uh oh mom’s in a bad mood’ and go on about how she runs the house and hes a sla.ve and we are too for her and it kind of sucks. I don’t want to know more about how my mom is not the best. Trust me, I :/ing know. Also he has a favorite: me. I know, that should be a good thing. But I feel bad for my sister. My dad will be like ‘let’s get Starbucks.’ My sister and he wants some, but i say im full. He says never mind and says we won’t anymore because I don’t. This is an actual example of what happened by the way. So im like ‘no, you guys can go. Molly and you want some.’ And I don’t talk back much at all, so even that made him a bit taken aback. I don’t regret it at alll. I know ts makes me sound like a spoiled br.at and I should not be mad im the favorite child for my dad (not my mom, only him btw). I hate it too. It just seems so backhanded when he talks to me. I don’t know. He’s my dad. So why don’t I love him more? It’s cause im spoiled. That’s why I bet you. My body hurts. Not even mentally this time, just physically. My stomach hurts all the time and also other places…. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I hate growing up. If I didn’t grow up I wouldn’t have hated myself so much. Little me used to not care about how I looked, with my fat:/ and weird likes. She didn’t care. I wish to be her again. Why is Jax becoming so relatable lately… My stomach hurts omg I don’t like anyone anymore ecept for a few I suppose. I think My wishes: -to not need to wear a sweater -wolf cut and wear outfits I actually like -more real friends -not worry about having depression -happy family and friends -normal weight and not hurting body - uhhh some sort of love or smth
