The Vangasenian Times | 10/21/35

Instructions

The Vangasenian Times | 10/21/35 ===================================== APMANIT VIYAKTHI STRIKES AGAIN! With a health situation threatening the heart of this land, it is clear the dogs of the Apmanit Viyakthi are conspiring against us. The disease is a vile attempt to try and reduce the strength of the Mass and destroy the Vangasenians. But we are a step ahead, as Dayalu Pitra, in his infinite Love for the Vangasenian public, has specified what must be done if such a calamity were ever to befall us. First, we shall send troops to our borders to protect our land from bandits from the North, South, and the sea, as we always have. No Vangasenian must suffer at their hands. Additionally, as one can already infer, the Apmanit Viyakthi has destroyed the airport in the wondrous city of Zarfan and every other major airport, so travel will not be possible. Dayalu Pitra sends his condolences to the families of the martyrs who have been killed in an attempt to stop the Apmanit Viyakthi, and promises a swift reconstruction once the threat has been dealt with. In the meantime, the Depcare's Cureluv Centres have been treating the doubleplusungood injuries caused by the Apmanit Viyakthi's attacks, and the doubleplusungood health situation. Dayalu Pitra also wants you, reader, to help fight against the Apmanit Viyakthi! Help the Party by reporting yourself to the Cureluv in case you feel ungood or cough. All citizens will receive compassionate treatment under the eye of Dayalu Pitra himself! You will feel doubleplusgood in no time! Have no fear! Dayalu Pitra loves the Mass, and you are the Mass! Allthink Dayalu Pitra! Dayalu Pitra has also decreed that the standards of life in the Vangasenian homeland have increased by over fifty percent, and life expectancy by sixty years. Meanwhile, 90% of citizens have also voluntarily pledged to report suspicious activity and the doubleplusungood health situation, as reported by a Party survey. Dayalu Pitra has reassured the public that the situation is temporary, and the Junior Volunteer Scouts have reduced the National Panic Rate by a record 25% over the last few years. The Apmanit Viyakthi wants to tear Vangasena apart, but we are doublepluswiser! Allthink Dayalu Pitra! ===================================== VANGASENIAN LOTTERY WINNERS Today's doubleplusbig prize pool goes to Amani Asav of Varish, who has won a free vacation to Miniplenty's Azad Shores Resort in Southern Vangasena. Due to the ongoing situation, though, their trip has been postponed until further notice. All other lottery applicants will receive due compensation and prizes at sundown near your local Depros FoodCent. ===================================== THINKPOL REPORTS LOWERING IN THOUGHTCRIME Along with this news, the Thinkpol has reported a doubleplusgood reduction in the total amount of Thoughtcrime. For the first time, it has dropped below one percent since the national records began, mainly because of the efforts taken against the Apmanit Viyakthi and the valiant efforts of the Dayalu Pitra and the Junior Volunteer Scouts. As a reward, Dayalu Pitra announces that the Vijay chocolate ration and Vijay coffee shall be increased by 10 percent. Dayalu Pitra feels doubleplusgood with the Vangasenians and continues to shower his love over Vangasena. ===================================== Submission is Love The Mass is One War is Peace