For one, I know almost everyone forgave me for the recent drama I've caused.. but that doesn't mean I forgive myself at all I don't I hate myself for that. and now, we're getting a house, which means i'll be less active on scratch but now i'm scared I feel like i'll be forgotten I'm scared Takky will get really close to someone else and i'll be replaced, I know he wouldn't do that ever, but that doesn't help I still worry about it. I'm scared Ulti and I will drift farther away, I want to be close to her again she means so much to me.. I'm scared in the two years Xenon will be gone he'll forget about me, or just think i've moved on after two years.. I'm scared Tundra will replace me with someone more active than me. I know she loves me so much and I know how much I mean to her, the two years that we've been doing anything to be together prove that, I know she wouldn't do that too me.. but that doesn't help.. I'm afraid Ecole will never find love again because of me, I honestly miss her and love her so much and it's really hard to cope with, even though we're still friends and she's very supportive of me and Tundra. I honestly want her back, but I don't want to break up with Tundra either. I want them both.. I'm so poly i'm sorry </3 And honestly, this one might sound a bit weird, but I honestly wonder if my cat thought about me during his last hours, if he is out there somewhere as miserable and lost as I am. What if he didn't think about me? What if I was nobody to him.. I really loved him but did he feel the same way? all the times he comforted me and I whispered secrets into his fur... please help me my life is slowly crumbling and I just want
