I'm on overdrive right now battling problems and I just need someone to trust which I have no one. and I just. . . my comforts slowly are disappearing. Friends and being but holes and annoying. Music isn't helping as much as it was. and yeah I know everyone is just like, its because of you getting older. Blah blah blah and a load of other crap. But its not. And its not a joke when you see people commit suicide or something. Its hard battling depression, I can tell you. So this is just here for saying if your gonna betray a friend then do it in a way without hurting them to bad. Almost all of my friends are fake, even some of my best. I'm not gonna name them cause a few of them are on scratch so yeah. But all of them just ughh I cant express with words their stupidity and ignorance and i mean it got bad. I make one new friend and guess what, she'd ripped away from my grasp and She was innocent now I'm unsure. My old friends well, they just slip from my grasp too, I can't, no I don't know how to act around them because they've just done so much for me so i just plaster on a smile and be a cheery old version of me. It gets easier to fake a smile when you've done it for a while. And here I am leaving myself open, not asking for pity but for forgiveness. I'm asking one person in particular. And I'm sure when you see thins you'll realize why I'm who I am. I just hope that all the stupid and dumb stuff I've done you can put behind us and we can go back to like it used to be. And ya know why I didn't speak for that whole day, its cause you said something, reveal your biggest secret to everyone or something else and i just couldn't hold the guilt any longer so I cracked and went mute. I may be like this in the future so alls I ask is for forgiveness. Please.
I'm sorry guys i'm going inactive for a month maybe. So sorry I just can't do it anymore. I'm broken on the inside. Love y'all who've stayed right where you've always been.
