Go into full screen. Stare intently at screen for 50+ hours. Play game. Scroll down the instructions ;). JOKING! Arrow keys to move. Double-click the green flag to restart. If this scares you, I am sorry. Let me know what the problem was and I will try to make it less scary. Watch out for spikes - especially level 5. Down arrow to crouch. Think outside the box! Watch out for moving enemies from level 14 onwards.
Thanks to Llamas With Hats (an amazing YouTube show) for the main character, Carl (who also happens to be my profile picture!) Other than that, thanks to me.