I'm Sorry...

Instructions

Gosh, it's been a while. Hi. Fancy seeing you here. Well, let's get to the point. I've been away for a little bit, but I really wanted you to know why. 2018 has not started off well for my family. My dad got pneumonia (don't worry, he's better now) My mom got a cold (and still has it, but it's not that bad) My sister (@MeiLynn_Panda) got an ear infection and had a feverish night (but she is recovering well with antibiotics) My brother has a cold as well (he is doing fine now) I am fine (I have a cough, but it's bound to go away soon) And in the midst of all of this crazy.... My dog passed away on January 4th, 2018. She was the best dog we could ever ask for. It was the worst start to the new year ever. I was emotionally unstable to try and come here for the past few days. But... it's been going okay. Recovering has been tough, but I know that I can get through it. The dog that died hasn't been shown in the "My Doges" project. I honestly don't know why I didn't include her. I still don't know if I want to show her even now. I think I need to let her go in peace. Without a glamorous exit. She got into a fight with our next door neighbors' dogs and... She didn't survive the night. She was already suffering from cancer and internal bleeding which we couldn't really fix. The guy who owned the two other dogs that fought her came over to see how she was doing before she died. He was extremely kind, and wanted to know if there was anything he could do to help. Now, I know what you're thinking. "Why didn't you just take her to the vet? Maybe she would've survived." All I have to say to that is, "No." That wouldn't have made her any better. It was her time. I honestly thought that, but I realized that she would be surrounded by people who could've done nothing to fix it. No, I'm not wanting to make any vet feel like they don't know what they're doing. She was already suffering so much, that there was no going back. We wanted her to be surrounded by family, people who loved her. My mom slept by her so she wouldn't be alone as she passed. I miss her so much. By the next morning, we saw her body. She wasn't in pain, or any suffering anymore. She slept peacefully. I broke down. We all did. Anyways, we went to school. We wanted to go and do some work instead of sulking around all day. I cried a few times to where I was lead out of a classroom to speak with one of the teachers. She pulled me aside and asked what was wrong. Explaining through sniffles and tears, I said, "My dog died last night." She looked at me and started to cry. "Oh my gosh. My dog died last week. Come here sweet girl." She hugged me as we both cried in the hallway. She explained how our dog must've been like a family member and I agreed. She let me go to the bathroom and let it all out before coming back to the classroom. Needless to say, that was an enlightening moment for me. I was able to connect with someone who I barely even knew. She was nice to me and my sister, but I never knew her on a personal level. Throughout all this, that was the only day I truly mourned. The next few days, I didn't even think about it. I just became so numb to the fact that my dog died. However, I think that was just me letting go of her. I will always love my dog, but I think it was her time. If we tried to extend her lifespan, she would only be more miserable. Now, I like to think she's watching over the other dogs that we have. If you're still here... Thank you. I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you cared enough to read this. Thank you. Okay. I think that's it. I love you guys, and here's to 2018. Let's make this year awesome. ~ Peking ♡