BipolarSnowy’s journal Venting my heart out BipolarSnowy is usually chill but there’s more than meets the eye. She tries to make everyone smile and wants to see a happy world. She knows how it feels to be lonely and sad, and she doesn’t want to see anyone struggle through that, even her worst enemies. BipolarSnowy describes life like an ocean. Sometimes it’s calm and beautiful, sometimes a great typhoon. Her ocean is dark and polluted, there is no life in it and the waves drown everything. She struggles to swim back up, but every time she does, the waves get stronger and she drowns deeper than before. The waves are her fears but not only does she face them head on, but she lives her fears in a never ending nightmare. BipolarSnowy becomes scared of other people, she doesn’t want to be treated like some underrated toy. She wants to be the beautiful girl she is, but no one can see through her mask, they only see the scrawny body and not the heart. She has many fake friends she knows just use her, but she loves whatever she has and is grateful for anything to come by. In the night, BipolarSnowy talks to her imaginary friends, they are the only ones that won’t tease her about her stupid existence. She pretends to hate other people, but in the deepest depths of her heart she longs for affection. She is easy to fall for someone and will pour her heart out, only to have it torn again. BipolarSnowy doesn’t let anyone get to her, she keeps all her emotions to herself. She picks up all the pieces of her heart and will mend it together with hopes of a better future. She vents to herself in bed with her imaginary friends. She often hurts herself, until she is exhausted and can’t fight herself anymore. Look closely at her: all those bruises? Those are all the bullets life shot her. Those red spots? Those are all the times she bit herself until she bled. All the damp pillows? Those are from all the times she cried her heart out. And only to be left unnoticed. “Shut up, no one wants to hear it.” Beautiful words she wasted, sharing love never meant to be; mere seconds of life for only rejection. “Rejection is acceptance into loneliness,” she tells me. Friends are fairies, they don’t exist, and if they do, well you just found heaven on earth. BipolarSnowy wishes she could be a normal girl, with a normal life, with normal parents, with a normal brain and body, a girl that could smile instead of cry the whole darn time. She wasn’t always lonely and she hopes she won’t. “You don’t know what you have until you lose it all, so don’t treat people for granted,” she whispers in the back of my mind. (Please if you know someone, treat them like your whole world, you never know when they are gonna go, so please, let them know you love them too). BipolarSnowy wants to be loved too, like yo
