I Am Not A Covergirl - Original Poem I look into the mirror. What does the world see? They tell me that they see… A beautiful, strong girl A fearless, flawless girl A kind girl who always smiles The perfect covergirl And covergirls don't cry. I never lose my joy. Smile, wave, and strike a pose Flash, flash, flash The cameras go off Reporters yell and scream And through it all, this covergirl won't cry She's living the dream they whisper So smart and talented and strong They expect me to be strong So what will they do when they find out I'm not? Mirrors lie, sweet child If you look into the mirror and see me… You see the perfect model The perfect covergirl But you can't see me inside Just my looks and smile Just the outside of me Just my mask My mask that covers up my tears and pain and hides it all away Mirrors lie, child, mirrors lie I never shed a tear I never lose my joy You never see me with a frown Because I am a covergirl They think of covergirls as dolls We don't have emotions We don't have feelings We don't feel sadness, pain or anger We are always happy and joyful A puppet on a stick controlled by society Chin up, smile and force the tears away they tell me You are a covergirl they say And covergirls don't cry Well, let me tell you something I am acting I put on my make up and smiles To act like a mask Out in public, I go Smile wider, bigger, harder I am an amazing actress And I am the one in the most pain Do you see my smile? Yes Can you hear my laughs? Yes Do you see my mask? No It's all fake I am NOT a covergirl I look into the mirror What do I see? I see a weak, flawed girl A girl who cries herself to sleep A girl who hides away and weeps when she's alone A girl who hides from the world A girl who’s scared to get judged I take off my mask of makeup and let my smile go Now can you see my broken heart? Now can you see my tears? Now can you see the emptiness in my soul? Can you see it? Yes I act Every day I go out in public Wave and smile to the crowd I must give them what they want… I lie Every day When someone asks me am I okay I say yes, I'm fine But I'm not If I tell… Even my closest friends… They won't believe me They will tell me… That I'm an attention seeking drama queen That I just want sympathy and that I overreact If only they knew... Let me put you in the pain I'm in A pain that hurts so much it's physical A deep sadness that slowly kills every speck of joy A broken wounded heart that makes it hard to breathe I struggle for air A world in black and white I don't see colors There's no pink or red or orange Just black and white Like an old movie that no one ever watches I am a forgotten child A child turned black and white from dust and lack of love A child turned black and white because no one bothers to bring back my colors I'm not that important Trust me After all… I'm just society’s entertainment After all… I'm just a simple cover girl I've forgotten... What it feels like to be happy for more than a few minutes I've forgotten... What it feels like to be joyful I've forgotten… What a real laugh and smile feel like It hurts Yet you don't believe me You’re a covergirl, you have no reason to be unhappy they tell me Throw me onto national news to get me to smile and wave It's all a show I'm a covergirl And covergirls don't feel pain Do they? Yes they do Come live in my world Feel what I am feeling for one day And then the next time I tell you how I feel… Maybe you'll believe me... - Starry (Age 12)
