I was born on the 12 of march 2006 as a healthy kid, I grew up with a loving family but... things changed... when Connor was born.. my younger brother.. He was now the centre of attention.. and I didn't feel loved.. because he and Thomas got all the attention... while I was the middle child... the thing was, I wasn't. Autistic like my brothers... Connor had ADHD and Thomas had something else... I had nothing... I was... normal? but.. I wasn't, I was bottling everything up... and.. at 4 - 5.. that was a lot of emotions stored.. that.. I couldn't show.. without getting my parents worried, they were stressed enough with a new child... they probably didn't have time to worry about me.. I kept that with me, until I was 7 and I had someone to talk to... but they turned on me and told everyone that I was weird.. and.. different... also probably a monster... that caused.. slight mental issues with me.. I was bullied... every second.. of everyday... until I snapped.. and started throwing punches... my parents then found out I was unstable... but showed no sign that they cared... soon after... I moved schools.. Im 12 now.. and I started high school, found some good friends... but.. things at home got worse.. my parents got a divorce when I was 8.. its still tearing me apart.. and... well... my Parents told me to always stay a kid.. but now im being forced to grow up.. and everytime I try to explain myself my lil bro will scream just to annoy me.. then I get in loads of trouble for being angry and my parents excuse is they don't want fights WHEN CONNOR IS THE ONE WHO STARTED IT. and so im getting in trouble for having negative emotions now... I need a new bottle... the one ive stored all my emotions in is cracking... and... im losing... the fight... between my mental problem... and me... I want it over... I want to run... I want to... leave... everything at this point.... Im not asking for help or support... Im asking if you would miss me and if you understand why I don't wanna be alive anymore... its to much for me to handle... and im used to handling it on my own... so don't try to help... it wont work..
