Hello. Not gonna do the normal aesthetic for this description cause the project itself is just.........well, my 12 year old self being himself lol. I've fixed it up a decent bit before posting, but this is basically just a relic. I don't know, the way I'm able to slip back into this kind of thing, even when on the surface its so far removed from what I do now, it's like no matter how much I change, I haven't *actually* changed all too much deep down. It's comforting in a way but uh...I was suffering a lot back when I used to be a scratch kid-guy, the kind of suffering that's so ingrained you don't even really know what it is, like all the repeated things you look at ever day except this thing well......its stabbing you all the time and so much you can't even tell the fresh cuts from the scars, and I *can't* extricate my past self from that fact really because the pain just seems so totally all encompassing I can't imagine a person actually existing within it. Thing is, I've recently been thrown all back into that stuff after temporarily escaping it as the beating heart of the machine killing me over and over, the thing my own mind was forced to create, and I can say with certainty that I do exist, so this self and all the selves before me are real even if I can't remember them or properly see them, and right now I'm trying to.....look at them all, I suppose. Here, this frankly adorable expression of my kid selves existence, and me who's very much still a child are meeting in some sense. One thing I haven't told anyone is that to an extent my writing is just me trying to prove my own existence to my future self, so that he can't say that I'm just the weak sad thing I mostly am due to the reality of the memory he'll see. I *know* I can't escape, so all I can do is paint some kind of lie of being more than what I am, because well, if I'm going to die like this, I might as well do it with a bit of style. Uh..................ok, real talk I only wrote it like that cause this'll only get like one view ever from someone who's 13 years old MAX um hey kid don't worry about all that stuff but basically you're gonna learn how to draw cute bitmap little things today yayyyyyyy yayyyyyyy yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ^_^
