WARNING: This game does not fall within the canon of the Blart Saga. @TheBurlyCoconut is not responsible for any canonical disputes raised by the content of this game. Move Paul Blart with the arrow keys, WASD, or, if you're on mobile, the in-game joystick. You can go faster with the up arrow, W, or up on the joystick, but make sure to regulate your blood sugar level! You'll also want to click or tap the red button to decline Pahud's calls—distracted Segwaying is a big no-no. Eyebrowless Paul Blart is perhaps one of the most terrifying creations of my entire career. I claim no responsibility for the scarred minds of those who choose to click "See Inside," "Start Screen," and then "Costumes" to view him.
"Mom, you said that the biggest problem in the universe is no one is willing to make Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3." —Anakin Skywalker All art and code is by me! Thanks to Subway Surfer and Paul Blart: Mall Cop for the name, and to Dean Kamen for inventing the Segway. One skin is based off Star Wars, the menu song is "Frankenstein" by the Edgar Winter Group, the in-game song is "Detroit Rock City" by Kiss, and the Blartlemania tile arrangement is from Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock (slightly modified). Paul Blart's ringtone is (as seen in Paul Blart: Mall Cop) a song by Rasheeda, and the phone conversation is taken from a scene in (you guessed it) Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Thanks to @White_Shadow222, @-ScratchEngines- (now @Modernistic), @violet_raven, and @--MayaWater-- for giving me great feedback on the game after its release. There are a bunch of little pop-culture references in the code and a few in the game. Referenced materials include Wii Sports Resort, Pink Floyd, the Dark Knight trilogy, the Beatles, Happy Gilmore, William Shakespeare's The Tragedy of Julius Caesar, Avengers: Endgame, Star Wars, Paul McCartney, and, of course, the Blart Saga. To anyone who manages to identify every one of those references: I commend you. If you haven't seen Paul Blart: Mall Cop, you have disappointed me. Go watch it. Immediately. Supplementary material: Paul Blart: Mall Cop (Movie) Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (Movie) Blart Trek: Into Blartness (Movie) The Blartian (Movie) Blart Trek: The Original Series (TV Series) The Legend of Zelda: Blart of the Wild (Video Game) Mario Blart: Segway Circuit (Video Game) Nirvana—Blart-Shaped Box (Song) Bonnie Tyler—Total Eclipse of the Blart (Song) Queen—Another One Blarts the Dust (Song) David Bowie—Life on Malls? (Song) The Mamas and the Papas—Paulifornia Dreamin' (Song) Yes—Owner of a Lonely Blart (Song) Kiss—Detroit Blart City (Song) Pink Floyd—The Blart Side of the Moon (Album) Piet Mondrian—Composition with Red Blart and Yellow (Painting) Leonardo da Vinci—Mallna Lisa (Painting) Jack London—The Mall of the Wild (Book) John Green—The Paul in Our Stars (Book) John Steinbeck—Of Malls and Men (Book) Edgar Allan Poe—The Tell-Tale Blart (Short Story)
