☞im so lucky to have the life i do yet i throw it down the drain with unhealthy habits ☞not drugs or whatever but my coping mechanisms are t r a s h ☞wanna know what it is???? ☞storytelling ☞its so stupid because its an amazing source of creativity and all that buuuut ☞i became so absorbed in it a such a young age that i forgot to make friends ☞i didn't have a bad childhood or anything, but a lot of stress was put on me very often to the point where i would make myself sick ☞and i mean young like 3 ☞and then i learned to read and was like "i can get caught up in this and not be stressed?" ☞so i read every single chance i got because the stress came often and when i was at the place of stress it was such a comfort ☞i was in the books more than i was real life ☞and then one day i made my own story and i realized that i could get caught up in this just as easy as books, so i did that too ☞and i stopped reading as much, i escaped into my own things. i excelled when it came to storytelling, i could use the words to my advantage and save myself from the stress, which got harder to handle the older i got ☞im still under that same stress now because its not something i can just cut out of my life. But instead of having friends or social skills all i have is stress ulcers in my mouth, my medicine to numb them, and too many stories to count. ☞I just escape in them, build them. When im not perfectly happy i go to them. It's to the point where my dreams are either about the ones I've made or making new ones. ☞i just leave. everyone calls me so talented at storytelling. ☞its really just an unhealthy way to ignore my problems. ☞tl;dr aka moral of the story: im too absorbed in my own world to think about this one. make sure you coping mechs are healthy. even if they're weird, for all that is good, don't let them define you. its not fun. ☞anyway idk what im gonna do on this acc anymore but lets just hope its productive
