So this is a vent. Mainly about why I have been inactive and not posting at all for the past several months. Recently, my mother had to travel across the world to stay with my grandmother who was having a big open surgery, and it put a lot of stress on me. As a result, my activity levels and grades took a drop. Then there's the matter of me having health issues, such as being pre diabetic, having high chloestrol, and some other complicated health problems that I honestly do not care to explain about. I went to the doctors and saw that some of my results had skyrocketed and it made me feel super crummy about myself. And I know, I know, I shouldn't feel bad about my appearance, but I do anyways. And I'm working on it, I promise. But you know, it's hard when you live in a society where people judge you based off of what you look like. Then there's exams coming up, and I've been increasingly stressed about them, because I've been known not to perform well if I don't put the effort. Like one time, last week, I got an F on a quiz. So, I've been trying my best to put tons and tons and tons of effort into school. And I'm also on the school softball team, which is a little stressful because I'm surrounded by girls who can play so good and then I look at myself and think woah why are you on the starting line up, you can't even hit to the outfield. It's really a big whole mess rn. My grandfather is now blind in his left eye, my cousing got surgery in his leg cuz he tore a muscle, and my grandmother is just pulling out of her recovery. So yeah......I'm pretty out of it. So please excuse my long term absense. It should end roughly within the next 3-4 weeks. Love you all my lovelies!!
Thank you all for being here with me.
