she actually hates me... she confirmed it... she wont tell me why.... i knew it... i couldnt sleep at all last night... because i was so worried... if i closed my eyes, i would find them both dead... and i was the cause... she hates me... i thought we were friends... She was yelling at me.... through message... i can imagine her raging irl... i just want to be friends... but she doessnt want to be... even though this was the first year we really had the chance to be... shes gone... my best friend is slowly leaving... i know she will eventually... they both make me feel like trash... probably because i am... i want to leave... it was all my fault... they hate me and each other... because of me.... i just want the fighting to stop.... but i dont think it ever will.... they have no idea how bad i feel... and they never will...
