Vanessa fiddled with the loose string on her sweater. She squinted into the telescope, the cool metal brushing against her skin. She grabbed onto the side of it, adjusting it. It needs to be perfect. If she was going to get it right, she needed it to be positioned correctly. Even an inch off, or bumping the telescope, could throw off the entire process. Carefully, she slid over to the canvas, picking up her brush. It was tipped with white paint. She brought the tip of the brush to the canvas, focusing on keeping her hand steady. If she didn't give it her complete concentration, she knew her hands would shake and ruin the painting. There were only a few stars to paint left, and she had meticulously measured each of them so they would perfectly match the night sky. She had to work fast, making sure the stars didn't move as she painted. Every now and then she would move back and check her telescope, as if afraid they might have somehow run away when she wasn't looking. Steadily, she brought the tip of the brush to the painting. All she needed was a tiny spot, a dab of white in an otherwise darkened sky... RING! RING! RING! The brush veered off the painting, trailing a great line of white along with it. The brush clattered to the floor and Vanessa's hands began to tremble. She ran them through her hair, taking in a deep breath. The ringing continued, echoing inside her skull. She didn't bother to get up and answer the phone. There was only one person who would be calling her. "Hey, Vanessa! This is Hannah, just checking up on you... give me a call when you have the chance, okay? I know it's pretty late but since you're into stars and all that, I figured you'd be awake. Sorry if I woke you up, but you see, I was wondering if you wanted to go get coffee with me and some of the other girls in town. I get you're not really into that kind of thing but you know, I thought it might be a good chance for you to get to know the others..." She continued to ramble on, and Vanessa let out a sigh of frustration. Hannah was one of those over-the-top extroverts, always outgoing and looking to make new friends. Many people would have found it charming, but to Vanessa, she was just a nuisance. And look what she's done to my painting! A long, white streak over across her painting she had worked so hard on. Hours of painting and watching the sky, wasted. Meanwhile, Hannah was still going on about getting together in the morning. Vanessa didn't know why she even bothered calling. She supposed it was a part of her goal to become friends with every person in the town. That's what she said, when they first met. That she was friends with nearly everyone in the town already, except, of course, Vanessa. The girl who rarely came out of her apartment and hardly ever spoke a word to anybody. It was well known throughout the town that Vanessa was to be left alone. When she came out of her tiny apartment, which was rare in of itself, everybody averted their gazes. Nobody spoke to her and she didn't speak to them. Hannah was the only one who ever dared to try to make small talk with her. Vanessa had been trying to shake her off for months, but still she clung on, determined to be friends. But it wasn't going to happen. Vanessa was not interested in making friends. She had no desire to socialize, and even if she tried, she knew it wouldn't end well. Her anxiety had been so bad lately, and trying to speak with people only made it worse. The only time her hands didn't shake was when she was painting. Click. Hannah had finally finished rambling. Vanessa had no intention of calling her back. Instead, she grabbed her canvas and threw it aside. Into the other piles of ruined art. She was a perfectionist, picking at even the smallest details, which of course wasn't very good for her self-esteem. She was actually a decent painter, but she saw every flaw in her paintings and simply couldn't stand the sight of it. Vanessa had yet to make what was in her eyes, a good painting. She liked to paint the stars. Staying up late every night, just to try to capture the image of a flawless night sky. If her fingers managed to stay still, the stars were often the easiest piece of her painting.
It was the moon that eluded her. The faint glow against a black sky, the ever-changing shape of it. The moon, riddled with imperfections. She always tried to make it perfect, smooth, like stars. But the moon was always out of reach because of her desire for perfection. The craters and flaws upon its surface was what made the moon, the moon. Because the moon was not a star, but still it would shine at night. Vanessa stood up, pushing her telescope aside. She didn't have the energy to start another painting, not after the disastrous star in the last one. She shuffled over to her room, slippers gliding easily across the wooden floor. Her entire body ached, stiff from sitting in one place for two long. When she reached her bed, she collapsed onto it, heaving a sigh. There was an open bag of cheetos on her nightstand, the smell of it wafting into her nose. She reached over lazily, grabbing a cheeto and dropping it into her mouth. It was old and chewy, but she didn't mind. Vanessa stared up at the ceiling, wiping the cheeto dust off of her hands. She hadn't bothered to take off her sweater and put on pajamas. For the past week or two, she had been wearing the same shirt and sweater. A black t-shirt with the words 'keep dreaming' plastered on it in a white, cursive font. She wore a grey plain sweater over it, with crumbs of food lingering on it. Vanessa only changed her clothes when she went out, and still it was usually just a different t-shirt and a different sweater. Besides, she didn't go out often. Not if she could help it. She reached above her head and yanked the ponytail out of her hair, letting her light brown hair fall from its messy bun. She rested her head against her pillow, allowing her eyes to close. Vanessa found it hard to sleep most nights, the cause of the bags under her eyes. It was why she preferred to stay up and watch the stars. Because even when she was able to sleep, she encountered nightmares at every turn. Vanessa took in a shuddering breath, mind racing. She was prepared for another sleepless night. Another night where she woke up, her heart pounding, her breathing shallow and ragged. Another night of horrors she couldn't even remember. She tried to think about something else. Anything to take her mind off it. Then she remembered: I'm out of milk. Vanessa squeezed her eyes tighter. Ugh. How badly do I really need milk? Her usual breakfast was cereal, but one day of cold pizza for breakfast couldn't hurt. Then for lunch, she could just make some boxed macaroni and cheese. Wait. Out of that, too. A sandwich? Ham sandwich? Out of ham. Pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner it is. Certainly it wasn't the healthiest diet, but it was the one that required the least effort and social interaction. Vanessa gripped the covers and rolled over, curling her legs into her chest. She had successfully taken her mind off her nightmares. Hopefully that would count for something. Maybe she would have a nice dream, instead of another nightmare. She hoped to dream about pizza. Apparently it was too long for the description soooooo it's in the credits I guess. I literally did not edit this whatsoever, so it's bad, sorry lol. Oh and the paragraphs are weird because it couldn't fit so... yeah. ALSO so it wouldn't do italics when it transferred over so you're just gonna have to figure it out. Good luck. Check out Wattpad for more. Hope you enjoy!
