edit: i would turn off comments, not because i want to be rude, but i dont want to seem attention-seeking. i read and love all of your comments, but i dont always want to reply. thank u for everything im rlly sorry for my past actions. I really debated on whether or not this project should be made, as the situation is completely over now. But I’m still sure that even after 3 years, there are still people on Scratch that dislike me for my past actions, and I hate thinking that. I decided to make this project as closure, and I was actually planning to the second time I moved accounts. I had actually moved in the first place because I wanted to get away from the drama. I’m going to bring up topics in this project that you may or may not have heard of, but I’m going to try and go over them as quickly as possible. Not because I’m trying to leave out information because I want to be played as the victim, but because it was so long ago and in my opinion, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Maybe to some other people, but because it’s basically over now, it seems like it doesn’t matter. I also am going to be quick because I want to get my point across in the littlest amount of time. 3 years ago, when I was 12, and in 6th grade, I made a Scratch account called GailAnimates. Some of you may remember, I had a little mascot meant to be me in all of my projects. She was a little brown-haired girl with a hair tuft. I want to make this clear: I had seen the YouTube animator Jaiden Animations, but I had not tried to directly copy her. The character was not the same, in my opinion. They just shared similar qualities, and I wanted to capture the joy I had felt while watching her into my character. I grew a little popular, which made me so happy. But as I gained followers and views, I noticed that many people had criticized my character. I didn’t mind it at all, but it was when people became extremely vocal about it that bothered me. Obviously, I didn’t like being called a ‘copycat’ for a character I really loved. I want to repeat: it wasn’t that I was upset because I was given feedback. It was because some of the feedback was extremely harsh. I was told some extremely awful things for my character. It’s unbelievable to think about now. I had been pushed to dark places because of the things people had said. I don’t want to over-exaggerate, but hearing death threats as a 12-year-old for just your character is a lot. This leads to my apology. I felt like I didn’t have a voice in all this. When I complained or lashed out against the Scratchers who had threatened me, I was criticized. My followers noticed this, and attempted to talk to them for me. I know that some of them handled it poorly- this upsets me very much. I was told that I couldn’t speak for myself because of this, and my followers were labeled as rabid. This was obviously upsetting to me. Hearing these threats, seeing my followers only defending my actions instead of reasoning, me being afraid to speak out, combined with (and as much as this sounds like an excuse, it is not) my very bad OCD I was already dealing with at the time, I made vents. I’m bringing this up because there is a rant on Deviantart where a user criticized me and said that I made vents and deleted them for attention. This I think hurt me the most. I was a moody little kid who was embarrassed when I tried to vent my emotions. So I took them down. I hate to just bring up something else, but there’s another thing. I wanted to make more characters, and attempt to show how my character was different from Jaiden Animations. I created a character that was a mask, and that when my mascot would put the mask on, she would become possessed. This character’s backstory was from my head, unlike my mascot that was semi-inspired by Jaiden. I had wanted a vent OC because of the feelings I had felt at the time. I was happy with it. I’m not trying to paint this user as the villain; do not get me wrong. But a popular user with a similar character created a post on Devianart, and their followers began to turn against me. I want to lay it down again, I was 12. But I didn’t know what to do. I genuinely didn’t mean for this character to be similar. But because of my mascot looking like Jaiden, They didn’t believe me. Saying all this out hurts me. It hurts me because I dug myself in a hole, and I feel like I can’t get out. I sound like I’m making excuses, and it sounds like I’m just trying to defend myself. I seriously though just want to talk about it. I want to apologize for my past actions. I don’t want pity, I just want to maybe ask for your forgiveness if I hurt you. I was 12. I’m 15 now. A lot has changed, and I feel awful. I didn’t mean to cause any pain for anyone. I hope I can gain your forgiveness, and we can work together on building a new relationship with Scratch.
