And if anyone says a word about it, I'm reporting you for getting on my damned nerves. It's really funny. Don't you just love it when you get sick, but nobody gives a care? Ha ha ha. Don't you love it when you constantly feel like garbage? When you've felt that way for months? Don't you love it when that person you care so much about can't see how much you need them? Can't see how much you lxve them, and how you need to lean on their shoulder? But no, you can't do that. You've already offered your shoulder to them, because they need support much more than you with your stupid little baby problems. Oh, go ahead and assume. Go laugh. Go harass us both. I dare you. Don't you love it when your heart hurts more that the rest of your aching, painful body? Don't you love it when you can't help someone as much as you'd like, and shame drives you into the floor? Don't you just LOVE identity? How it's so hard to find, and when you finally do, people love to just STEAL it? And how you can't help others when it happens to them? Oh, ha ha,, I'm slapping my knees. Don't you love how teachers think your stuff belongs to them, and think they can take everything you have? How they think that'll make you work "better" even though you're literally the stupidest hecking kid in the gifted classes, and you're a slow piece of trash who can't even get out of bed in the morning? Don't you love changing your bus route and having to get up EARLIER despite not being able to get out of bed? Don't you love how people say there's nothing wrong with you, even though you know there is? Don't you love the feeling of mental/emotional exhaustion after a whole day of trying not to lash out at people, trying not to seem too distant, trying to seem happy, and trying not to curl up and die in the middle of class? Don't you HATE taking care of yourself? I just love the feeling of being hungry and tired and dirty and unkempt, and the feedback I get from my terrible wardrobe choices is DEFINITELY boosting my self esteem. Pffft,, who am I kidding? As if I ever had a "self esteem." Don't you love when people don't understand that you can't focus for a worth of heck, and won't believe you or let you do something that'd make it easier to focus without some stupid fricking medical paper saying you're messed up in the head, which you can't actually get one because you never go to the doctor, and you don't want blood tests and MRI scans because you're afraid of needles and hospitals, and if you ever got a sheet like that, they'd just drop you out of gifted classes regardless? It's so, so funny. ha ha ha. I apologize. You know who you are. I'm sorry. If I said too much, you can ask me to take this down. And before you ask, no, I don't need to talk abt it. I think this gets pretty much everything off my chest. I know you're going through much worse, especially internally, and I shouldn't complain about my same stupid issues over and over and over. You can hate me if you want. It's your decision. I know you can't stand me on the inside. Nobody can. Sorry for assuming things of you, but I feel like crap and garbage, and I want to smash someone's skull into the pavement - just for stress relief. I'm sorry. I feel like everyone's doing this to me on purpose. As if someone said, "Oh, hey, Tawn's sick! Let's ruin her life and make her want to die from physical pain, and then have her grades drop so the has to stay up alllll night, and then let's cause her some emotional trauma by having the only person who cares about her reject her and leave her and..." Well, you understand. If you want to reply to this, just make a note on the board, k? Sorry again.
