oh no its a vent aaaa run you thought feather wasnt gonna vent anymore well you were wrong
im just under all this pressure and it's killing me. i have so many map parts and most of them are overdue and i'm being kicked from maps one by one,,, i don't have the motivation or energy to do them and yet i don't want to drop the part because it makes me feel as if i've failed the map host,,, but its not just map parts,,, im under stress because of friends. i always feel like them feeling bad is my fault and i rush to support them and i try so so hard to help them and it always backfires,,,, i always make it worse somehow,,, i feel like im a bad friend for not helping and for not being there to stop all the arguing and i dont want to ignore them either im always putting a smile on my face for others even when i want to curl up into a ball and cry,,,,, i put on the mask for my friends because i'm afraid of losing them,,, im afraid of messing up for their sakes,, im afraid that if i was honest with my feelings they would say i should stop swimming in my own sorrow,,, im afraid for their sakes that im a bad friend,,, and roleplays,,, oh the roleplays,,,,, im always up until about midnight roleplaying with people because i have fomo, fear of missing out,,, im afraid if i miss something people will be dissapointed like "we needed your character for that part! where did you go?" when all i want to do is get some sleep,, im afraid of what others think of me,,, im afraid,,, im afraid,,, im afraid
