!! WARNING: this contains mentions of self-starvation and other mature themes !! This is a vent from the PoV of Hamlet (during chapter 8) ~ ~ ~ Is it ever easy? Staring at the moon, hoping the light will make my eyelid heavy so I fall asleep in the place I've been assigned to live. Staying up until sunrise before sleeping until sunhigh, hoping nobody notices the red marks on my eye as I force myself to stand and walk. When has it ever been easy? Grabbing the plumpest choice of food and gagging as you throw it out, hoping nobody saw, wishing you weren't known for your appetite. As the sun sets and I lay down, ignoring the pangs of hunger I feel, knowing I'll be numb to it soon. Is it ever easy? Being reminded daily about the life I've left behind, the children I'll never meet in person. How I've always let others tell their stories but the moment I open my mouth it's just shut again. Is it ever easy?! No, life is meant to be full of hardships and trials, and even though it's easy, I have claws, but whenever I look into the eyes of a young cat, all I see is my family. Not biological but relationship family. The friends around me, the friends who cared. They've always listened to me and I wish I could always help them! Life is not easy. Staring at the scars on your pelt, remembering the moment you got them in such horrific detail you feel like vomiting, feeling the pain you felt that day! The echos and wails of the past diving in your ear forever, as if taunting you, "you can't run from your past, don't fight back," my inner demons whisper as I'm sent into another episode of watching all those I love die. Life is never easy, it will never /be/ easy. But we beings, we can choose, we can choose to change, or we can choose to surrender. Each choice is so easy yet so hard, and yet cats like me make that choice everyday.
