GRAVITY! WORM! ON! A! STRING!

Instructions

press the flag It’s the summer of 2001, Joe meets Patrick and he’s like, “Yo! i know about music” and Patrick’s like, “Yo! I know more about music!” “That’s impossible! Do you wanna start a band?” and patrick’s like, “Yeah, that’s cool” and then he’s like, “Yo! this is a bookstore, it’s not a music store!” And then they met at patrick’s house. so, patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a hat. patrick is playing drums for some reason. and pete’s there for some reason. they start playing music together and they’re like, “oh, let’s play some covers from some other bands!” there was like Green Day, and Misfits, and Ramones. Pete said to Joe, “Yo! We gotta change this up!” — HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH — *sips water*— “Yo, we played all these bands, let’s play stuff from Fall Out Boy” and so Pete and Patrick were like, “Yo, that’s dope. but we need a drummer!” because Patrick’s playing drums and he’s a singer! Patrick’s like, “Yo! I got a soul voice!” and they’re like, “wait! how do you have a soul voice?” and he’s like, “Yo, watch this – YEAAAAAYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAEEEEEEEHEEEEEYEEEEHEEEEHHH” and they’re like, “ Oh my God, that sounds like soul!” so they put it in a song, it was like, “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHTTTTTTT” — THHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH — and then they’re like, “Yo, that’s perfect. this is fall out boy” — *drinks water*— And they made records like ‘Evening out with your ex-girlfriend’ Evening out with your ex-girlfriend everybody loves it — “It’s called evening out with your girlfriend” — With your ex-girlfriend? It’s called evening out with your ex-girlfriend. It’s called eating out your girlfriend and it’s real and it doesn’t matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like, “yooo, what the heeccckkkk!!?? YO THIS IS GONNA BE HECKING DOOOPE” so they made a record and it was called ‘Take This to Your Grave’. They made it without a drummer! and they had like three, four drummers come in; the four drummers ahead come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from Toto — tnghhhh — the fourth one was like the guy from like Papa Roach or something. And they’re like, “Yo, we need Andy Hurley.” “Andy Hurley, Take This To Your Grave, hecking record it.” And he did it and he killed it and he was like, “BEGEDEGEDUGUDLULULUHHHLAHLAH BSHHH” Killin the skins! Tappin the skins! Tappin the rim! Playing the stuff! Killin these worm on a strings! Wrappin it out! — THAHAHA YOU’RE GETTING A HECKING TATTOO RIGHT NOW!! WHAT THE HECKK IS GOING OON!!?? — “We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, cuz these guys know what the heck is going on” they were like, “yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is which is not hard -” — tnghhh — “- we will sign you guys” he was like, “yo! we got this record that’s dope dude!” it’s called Take This To Your Grave. It’s called From Under The Cork Tree, it’s gonna be huge. And then Patrick was like, “I gotta keep it real. I gotta keep it artistic. These are - These are three songs that are gonna make the album it’s called — *burp* — this is called Thnks Fr Th Mmrs, Twenty Dollar Nosebleed, and Sugar, We’re Goin Down. And they made this record that was dope and they hecking hit on the charts like ONE, TWO, THREE! THREE, TWO, ONE! THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEEENNN! TEN TO ONE! From Under The Cork Tree sold like four million records… ten million records… FIFTEEN MILLION RECORDS! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record! And Patrick was like, “THAT’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDD” Pete was like, “Yo, heck you! I can do whatever I want!” Joe was like, “Yeah, that’s cool man whatever I don’t give a worm on a string” and then Andy was like, “Eh. Cool!” and Pete was like, “Makeup is hecking great for a guy because it makes a guy look beautiful which a lot of times a guy is not beautiful and i wanna change that. I wanna make sure that everybody thinks that guys are beautiful” — SPIT. SPIT. SPIT. “I’m good so far” “Do you wanna spit one more time?” “Yeah, I do.” SPIT. SPIT. SPIT. NGHHH SHUT THE HECC! HAHAHA OH ALRIGHT ALRIGHT — Pete was like, “Oh my god! I’m so embarrassed about this embarrassing picture!” and then I saw the embarrassing pic and I was like, “Eh, it’s not bad! It’s not a bad picture. Let’s be real.” We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so ANNOYED! they were like, “yo, heck you guys!” They’re like, “YO PANIC! HAS THE COVER OF ROLLING STONE!? YO HECK THESE DUDES WE’RE GONNA GO MILES ABOVE! WE’RE GONNA HIT EVERY CONTINENT THERE IS KNOWN TO MAN!” but they didn’t! because they missed a second of time! Apparently, they were like, “Oh heck we got every continent!” When they didn’t actually hit it. Dude, Pete was like, “WHAT THE HECK!?!?” OOOOH YOU DIDN’T MAKE THE CONTINENT! IT’S LIKE HEC K YOU! So From Under The Cork Tree happens we have three four years of awesomeness like people were so excited. — “