Although no one is going to really read this, I'm gonna vent to myself today. Not an art vent because I'm trash at it and I still need to practice. You know screw my ADD and perfectionism. Although i finished that hecking speech draft in a day, i don't feel good today. I still have that UDUmb CS project tjat's like 3 monts overdue and i can't bring my self to woRK on it andd if I finish it i can do whaqt I want to do but i still don't feel m o t i va t iton and I hate it. I wANT to get it done, but I can't., But I can get it done today. But i can't. Paradoxical, ik. This vent is uncalled for even, because nothing set me off. I don't even fill pissed right now, or frustrated. No argumment happened, nothing h a ppened. Maybe I am frustrated, a little thogh. At myself. because i can't finish a damn project that shouldn't be to overcomplicated. Because of that, I'm stuck at a computer all day, spacing out for half of that time, not even doing anything I want to do. And when I do something I want to do, it's either not permitted and Iim breaking rules, or I feel guilty aabout gettring something when I don't deserve it, so I can't evne enJOy things when I have them. This probably is a side effect from quarantine, tbh. But try staying inside all day, having ADHD, serious perfectionism issues, that cause you to not finish anything that u're supposed to, and disappoint both your parents AND myself, and because of that I don't have free time. Honestly I feel trapped. And I'm sick and tired that I MYSELF am not even trying to get things done. AAGHAHGAHAGHGAHGHAHGAHHGGAAAGAAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA okay time to get back to work
